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Fetish Fuel

Covert Pervert

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For every teen considering adding an entry here: Having enough libido to masturbate frequently and/or having sexual fantasies about your crush does not make you a Covert Pervert. Hell, almost every teenager past and present in existence would be one if that was true.

What you fantasize about, what you'd love to do to actual people (maybe also how many, possibly simultaneously) and most of all what you actually do when the opportunity falls straight on your lap uncovering your true colors is what makes you a covert pervert. If while growing up you get the chance to get close enough to enough people to really know what they sexually yearn for beneath the morality blanket (which gets easier as everyone else grows up too and stops seeing sex as this huge taboo thing), chances are you'll find out you are pretty normal after all.

  • This troper probably counts as an example herself, but a much better example is her color guard captain. She's this wide-eyed, childish girl with a high-pitched voice and a (usually) silly sense of humor. Plus, she's one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. But sometimes she'll come out with something like 'We all know you masturbate with the sabres!' o.o
  • This troper is a 15 year old is going out with a senior guy. You'd expect the guy to be perverted and handsy, and the young, naive girl terrified about the sex fantisies he admits to having. Other way around, and it surprises every single one of this troper's friends when they find out. Sadly, not a single one of the thoughts has been acted upon...
  • On average, this troper beats off twice a day, but at school everyone knows him as the quiet smart guy who gets into no trouble. He's quite shy and has never approached a girl.
    • Tell me about it.
    • You too?
    • I'm almost exactly like you, except I have approached about two girls. The result? I hide my true feelings for people in fear of being hurt even though nothing particularly bad happened when I asked those two girls out. Apparently somewhere deep inside I have problems being rejected.
    • Holy crap, you are me.
    • Did I post this once upon a time?
    • Am I having split personality disorder here?
    • You are my long-lost twin brother that was seperated from me at birth, right?
      • Seems like this problem applies to many people, myself included. On the bright side, there are many people who understand our issues, so it kind of balances out.
  • This troper is not one. Really.
  • This troper has no desire to ever actually have sex, so she's probably asexual, but she's...very......curious. No one she knows of knows this, and she's not about to tell them. Her sense are pretty powerful so she has a tendency to enjoy the artistic value of people and stuff (mmmm, Mark Harmon). She just wants to find a friend who also has a browncoat/Brown uniform or pinstripe-matching-fedora-wingtips fetish.
  • This troper is so covert that even he doesn't know when he's being perverted. How did he find out he was a pervert you ask? He can recognize half of his close female friends by their asses despite the fact that he doesn't ever remember checking them out.
    • Same here dude.
    • Man, that is some serious talent there.
  • When This Troper is annoyed with a guy or a group of guys, she imagines them having an orgy; this never fails to make her feel better.
    • Oh my goodness, I do that too. :)
  • This troper is a fan of BDSM, but most importantly has a heavy high heel fetish. People might know this, but they tend to understimate how sexy I find that: girls playing with them, putting them in really awkward places, caressing me with them, or one friend who dared me to lick them. It was uncomfortable. There are many other perversions I might have, but that one's literally the only one that gets me in trouble.
  • A minor reputation as a nerd and a nice guy means that this troper can A: Get away with a lot. and B: Have trouble explaining the depths of his perversion and fetish to someone. Even with visual aids they can still fail to get it unless I drop all subtlety whatsoever.
    • How...how do you have any subtlety with visual aids?
      • You'd be surprised how airheaded people are. I've dropped the phrase "not my fetish" countless times, and no one has yet to interrogate me.
  • This troper, kinda. He wouldn't call himself any more perverted than most people, but since he usually appears to be almost asexual, any time he makes even a vaguely sexual comment results with a similar reaction most covert perverts get.
  • This troper knew a girl who was a textbook example. At first impression she seemed really sweet, naive and innocent, but once you got to know her you'd realize that while she certainly was sweet, she was also not as innocent as she seemed. She enjoyed messing with people by saying stuff that nobody expected from a girl like her.
    • Are you talking about me? Seriously, that sounds really familiar... though my excuse is that my sophomore English class stole my innocence...
    • There are more of us than you would think. Beware The Nice Ones...
      • One of you is this troper's sister. Now own up.
  • This troper has shocked more than a few friends by making risqué comments. For some reason nobody seems to expect it of her.
    • Welcome to my life. They never learn. I recently made a reference to Rule Thirty Four and immediately got the "In case you didn't know what Rule 34 was..." reaction.
  • This troper has been known to take people off-guard with a raunchy joke or comment, and he has at least one fetish nobody else knows about.
    • Wait a second here, I don't remember writing that perfect description of myself. Has my insanity devolved that badly?
    • Wait, I don't remember replying to this perfect description of myself! I really have gone mad!
      • This new troper says that this description is more common than you might think. We are everywhere.
  • This troper often injected Unusual Euphemisms into his conversation with his friends. No one got what this troper meant, except for the one-year younger girl who was also apparently a Covert Pervert.
  • This troper, on the outside, looks like a sweet, rather prudish girl. One time, one of her close friends (whom she was pretty comfortable around) badgered her to reveal something weird that turned her on. After demurring a few times, she finally revealed a few things that nearly melted said friend's brain.
  • This Troper is this full bore. I usually act Asexual in nature and act both very conservative and flustered most of the time at topics of sexual nature. However, I am quite the perv. Even though most of my (close) friends know this, but often forget sometimes how.... dark my fetishes can get. And I'm not sure if anyone's picked up on my lesbian tendencies yet.
  • Looking at me, the tall, somewhat plump, smart, kind, seemingly asexual girl dressing in very sweet, unrevealing clothing, you never would guess that I have some weird thoughts. I've only told two people about this, both of them friends I can trust to keep this a secret.
  • This troper's friend wanted to go to a sex shop but was embarrassed about it, so she asked this troper to go with her, expecting a "* flail* Nooo!" reaction. Instead, this troper asked where she wanted to go, listed a couple of places, and generally made the friend keep turning bright red.
  • This editor does experience sexual attraction, but will almost never admit to anyone he knows that he finds someone attractive, and will definitely not say who it is he finds attractive. I have considered changing this, but if I did I think I'd feel very awkward indeed, especially since it would probably freak the heck out of the people I know to hear me talk like that.
    • This troper has a similar issue. However much of it may be due to being an utter closet case for his whole life. I don't know if that is the same for you.
    • This troper is in a similar situation to the original poster up thar. If my cousins even hear me admit that I think someone's cute, they make a ridiculously huge deal out of it.
    • So is this troper. I am however fully aware of this, and so I take steps to maintain that nobody ever knows about it when I find someone cute. I don't need the attention, thanks.
  • This troper used to enjoy a reputation as somewhat naive, due to being socially withdrawn, not successful with girls, and apparently oblivious to more... risque... concepts. So there was a period of time in which this troper could pretty much guarantee people would stop entirely in conversation by saying something completely twisted out of left field, since he actually enjoys a fairly dark and twisted sense of humor under the book nerd appearance.
    • Dude, you just totally described this Troper's personality and high school experience...
  • No one but a few of this troper's closest friends know the deeply perverted aspect of her personality. And when she says "perverted," she means it.
  • This troper keeps his extensive wisdoms in Rules 34 and 36 sealed within the Internet and within his mind. No need to scare the real world by letting it leak out, and any way, the memes and earworms coming out of my ears and mouth block the naughty thoughts and drown them in a torrent, whoops-bad-pun, of rickrolls and increasingly bizarre memes fresh from Japan.
  • One of this troper's friends was somewhat annoyed that she hadn't realized this about him. What set her off was finding out that, three years before the relevant conversation, he taught himself rot13 specifically to stop people from accidentally reading any filth he wrote. Naturally, this trope also applied to the friend, and her boyfriend. (We've gone from concealing our interests from each other to competing. I think the prize is shame.)
  • This troper's out of the bag now, but for freshman year, she fit this trope perfectly. She did remember how satisfying it was when she accidentally let a perverted joke slip out in front of her teacher recently.
  • People tend to assume that this troper is innocent. Therefore, whenever she mentions anything pertaining to sex or her own fetishes, people's reactions tend to range from surprised to squicked.
  • This troper seems perfectly mentally healthy (and quite asexual) to all his friends, but secretly writes erotic stories for an online site, with material that would make even some of the people on 4chan uncomfortable.
    • Wait, are you me?
  • This troper is a maieusiophile (Google is your friend), and the revelation of same to his girlfriends has caused some very... strained conversations over the years.
    • This troper was studying at the library with a couple friends, when this pregnant woman in a tank top that only went halfway down passed by and took a seat nearby. She was a rather distracting sight, and found himself struggling to not get caught looking at her by his friends.
    • This troper. Whenever some member of my family fell pregnant,I'd inwardly go 'Yes!',because I could legitimately have a feel in a few months time. Also (I'm not proud of this) I once pretended to tie my shoelaces so I could bend down and see the underside of my heavily pregnant cousin's belly whilst she was wearing a sweatshirt. Word of warning CPs - don't get caught; when my sister discovered my pr0n folder,I had to outright deny any interest in ogling said cousin,but I think she put the word out anyway.
    • This troper is very covert, almost to a Jekyll-and-Hyde extent. If you met me in real life, you would never guess that I have the same fetish, which causes me to mentally go blank in the presence of an attractive pregnant woman. Further hidden by the fact that said fetish prevents him from finding normally "sexy" things sexy. To add to it, he once made porn of his classmates in middle school using photo-warping software and uploaded them to a fetish website. He did it by abusing his privileges to use a camera for being on the school yearbook team. Never again. Oh, and similar to the above, he often hugged pregnant relatives tighter than most others for his "few seconds of bliss." And blew up balloons in his pants as a form of masturbation since he was little up until fairly recently. Nobody ever suspected the sick pleasure I got out of that, even when I got caught. Beware The Nice Ones indeed. Also, this troper's worst fear is of other people knowing his fetish, despite sometimes getting a horrible urge to share it.
    • Ha HA! This troper is not alone! I end up snatching disguised glances at whoever's pregnant nearby, know quite a number of sites for it (and have a dedicated deviantART account for it), and am online satisfying that need almost nightly - and on the outside, a rather cold, bookish nerd who's never given any sign of any sort of sexual attraction in any way. I'm seen pretty much as my school's token chaste. I have never been caught (though it's come close). No one IRL knows about this, and I am incredibly paranoid about keeping it that way. I have also had... other interests... but nothing too strange or too strong. I have no plans to tell anyone for a very long time.
  • Somehow, I give off a strange aura of sweet innocence when people first meet me and even afterwards. Sooner of later, people's mouths drop open as they realise that my innocence is... somewhat rusty to say the least!
  • This troper to the max. I frequent the /d/ board on 4chan (the one with extreme hentai fetishes, basically everything physically possible barring scat, furry, and guro, and many things that are not physically possible by any stretch of the imagination. I have proudly said "people seize and vomit at the stuff we shrug and fap at."), yet I never talk about sex with anyone except in a hushed voice. I can't stand the cold, but my roommate keeps the thermostat down so I keep under my blanket. More than once, I exploited the fact that nobody could see under the blanket so I could masturbate lightly while everyone else was in conversation, keeping a disinterested face on the entire time. I didn't finish in front of everyone, If You Know What I Mean, but still nobody caught on. Once a friend of mine in an IM conversation asked me to recommend him some hentai, so I gave him the most extreme one I knew to mess with him. He was angry at me for a while, but the thing I gave him is still something I still fap to. It's St. Margareta's, and it's listed under Gorn (I put it there). My fetishes include BDSM, tentacle, monstergirl (non-furry), futanari (not initially, it grew on me), DP, toys, mind control (sometimes), swollen clits and several much more specific ones that fit into several of the above categories.
    • It says a lot about This Troper that his first thought reading the spoilered list was less Squick and more curiosity about what DP is. Danny Phantom? Dr. Pepper? Considering that a few of my friends have been surprised at me swearing (thanks to being a Shrinking Violet), I think that I'd end up breaking people's minds if I revealed my fetishes. Which may or may not include a couple mentioned above...
      • This troper is guessing that DP is Double Penetration. So yeah, I have several Covert Pervert tendencies of my own, that people are always shocked by. Apparently I have a very innocent face.
  • Being a deviant schoolgirl on speed just means this troper has to work harder to keep her filthy mind to herself. She still gets surprised looks from friends who don't expect her to like Admiral ZEX in that way or that she objects to poorly researched gay tentacle porn. The bondage thing hasn't managed to get out, strangely enough. Neither has the crack pairing love, which is even weirder.
    • We're kindred souls (or at least members of the same Live Journal community). And what's that about this unique brand of takoyaoi being "poorly researched"?
      • Well, hey there, guys. Just how many of us people who have a... unique fondness... for Admiral ZEX are tropers, too? XD
    • And I thought I was the only one who... er... liked Admiral ZEX.
  • This troper is normally a friendly bibliophile, though he harbors a hair fixation and help girls fix their hair as an excuse to just caress their long, flowing tresses.
    • That's actually a good idea. This troper likes the feeling of hair (and I actually have it down to race, as that can define the hair feeling. Usually, whites and asians are the ticket.), but at least THAT is known to his friends, so they aren't creeped out by his random urge to stroke it.
  • I'm a living Pandora's Box and all my friends know it. I have fun making new friends, then Squicking them out.
    • ... Are you me?! Oh god, yet another clone... As if my girlfriend also being a clone wasn't awesome enough...
  • This troper probably comes across as very sweet and innocent and pure to most of her friends. She does not have the heart to tell them that she reads smut about her favorite fictional couples, has seen her share of hentai, and has a certain... "interest" in scenes of heroic peril. To this day they react with stunned shock if I ever cuss out loud or say something remotely racy.
  • In public, this troper is a quiet, civil, gentleman. Online, this troper normally browses hentai sites, and downloads mass torrents of doujinshi and hentai anime. There's a reason my roommates call me "King of Internet Porn" and ask me to find stuff for them.
    • King of internet porn... could there be a funnier sounding title?
      • King of fetish porn.
  • Nobody other than her closest friends really know that this troper - who normally just comes off as a Cloudcuckoolander to most people - is really a Covert Pervert Yaoi Fangirl with... many quirks and kinks that she doesn't care to mention among most people she talks to at university, seeing as they would probably scream and run away from her at a rate of knots. However, this may change, as she's building nearly all of her stand-up comedy routine around this trope.
    • Damn you. Take out the Yaoi Fangirl and you found this troper out. Hell, I actually freaked out a friend when I mentioned I have pr0nz that I hide in folders named after music. I had to tell her that my stuff was voyuer to avoid the truth (and alienate my friends. Then again, considering my friends, I might just keep them around me). This is why I dread the day I get roommates, for fear of one day they'll come in and find my stuff, and they'll never talk to me again.
    • In response to the original troper,are you sure you're not me? (though my friends know I'm a yaoi fangirl...)
    • Are you me?
  • If it wasn't for my fetishes I could be an asexual monk...
  • This troper's friends thought that he was asexual... Then they found out that he was interested mainly in 2D girls, and that he wasn't as innocent as they thought. This troper got some strange looks after that.
    • Dude, get off of my mind!
  • This troper is heterosexual (though he had often been Mistaken for Gay, on his light side he mostly likes red-haired types and Chinese women (unfortunately, his now ex-girlfriend - a Caucasian Australian with vaguely Asian features - managed to hookwink him into the act by saying she was descended from one of those types), among other things - but this troper also has semi-secret desires for certain - ahem - "pale-skinned beauties" - though possibly a Slaaneshi corruption of the aforementioned red-hair liking (a girl with the complexion of Connie Chiu...mmm...wait, if my - ahem - fellow straight male acquaintances here in Australia find out, I could be in for it...
    • However, his first on again, off-again date first true girlfriend was (at least she was when this troper last saw her) a Fat Girl, but he doesn't care - he finds (at least the idea of) a girl with plenty of meat on her better than someone who is way too thin - heck, anyone who's sufficiently pretty and available would ordinarily suffice, but he's trying to save himself for someone who'll be actually good, not good enough (hopefully someone soon) - preferably a Gamer Girl like his first true girlfriend, and unlike his evil Older Than They Look bible-bashing (or bible-thumping if you're a Yank) hypocritical paramour. Again, see above...
  • This troper's mother is a seemingly prudish and proper English teacher who just happens to have one of the raunchiest senses of humor this troper has ever seen.
  • This troper was one of the lucky people to get to view a topic on Game Faqs in which a guy posted a lot of hentai, he saved the pictures and the next day told his friend which resulted in this: "I thought you were a good kid" or something like that.
  • This troper happens to be a pretty geeky guy, and I don't tend to act like somebody who cares about much more than videogames. People assume that I have no clue what they are talking about when they make (bad) sex jokes and anything else like that, and like everybody else who doesn't show what sex they prefer, rumors are flying that I'm gay. However... you'd be surprised how easy this has made it to see up a certain girl's skirt multiple times (really, when she made her presentation in class, she should have considered not raising the chair up, sitting with her legs apart, and doing other things that made exactly where I sat the perfect location to see up her skirt and look like I'm watching the PC screen at the same time), look down other girls shirts (including one who wasn't wearing a bra that day), and get away with making obvious double entendre comments (for manipulative and humor purposes) with people just assuming I didn't know what I was talking about on the second part of the entendre. And the hentai... I'll stop now. And I'm still covert, since I'm doing this without being signed on.
    • Dude, IP address.
      • What can you do with that? I don't have any personal information over the internet, and I doubt knowing I'm one guy in a city of one million could help identify me. That's like saying that we sent a spy to your country, and oh yeah, he has brown hair.
      • Brown hair, and he's a pervert!
      • Well, that narrows it down to 99 percent of everyone in that city who has brown hair!
  • Being Straight Gay has... advantages when it comes to this sort of thing.
  • This troper is almost completely certain that almost all of her friends have assumed that she doesn't know much about sex at all. Only her best friend and a few close friends know that she is a complete slash fan, and no one knows her multiple kinks. She's sorely tempted to send a few of them some of the fic she has read. She thinks it may be because she does not pay attention to guys her own age (she's into older men) and does not make sexual jokes.
  • This troper is the walking definition of this trope. Because I always dress nicely and wear girly clothes, and for some reason people think I am very prim and proper, when in fact I am a dead-on perv. For example, I was talking to some of my cousins about our mutual love of Star Trek when we walked into the other room, where my cousin's parents and grandma were. My cousin's dad started to tease us about being Trekkies when I said, "No, we're Trekkers. You wanna know the difference between a Trekkie and a Trekker? Trekkers wonder what it's like to have sex in zero gravity. Trekkies wonder what it's like to have sex." * cue dead silence, crickets chirping, astonished looks form all relatives except cousins who are laughing their asses off*
  • applause*
      • You win, as far as I'm concerned.
      • Madame, my hat is off to you. I am most thoroughly impressed. :3
  • This troper managed to sneak a few peeks at a rather nicely-developed friend's bust and get a lot of hugs from her. She eventually found me out, but gave me her phone number anyway. I don't know if she's airheaded or trying to tell me something.
  • Ah, this troper will occasionally make jokes about certain things, but mostly just laughs at double entendres. Until she's home alone in which she looks up certain... things... on the internet. Yet no one has any idea about this... or her slight furry fetish. Cat/dog ears and tails are.... nice.
  • This troper is repeatedly annoyed that all her friends say she's a sweet and innocent girl, when in fact she's quite the Yaoi Fangirl (especially catguys). This has led to more than enough conversations where she's brought up a Boys Love series and accidentally made it awkward for everyone else.
  • This troper knows quite a few of these people. A friend of his whom he's known since preschool is a born-and-raised Catholic, short and skinny, gorgeous, and always speaks with a high, quiet voice. Sometimes she seems really confused and spaced out when people talk to her. She also showed her bra to me and a few of her other friends because one of them liked the color and has at least half a dozen pictures with her seductively licking her lips or wagging her tongue. This troper also knows a girl who had a not-so-hidden crush on him in chemistry who seems as innocent as can be. She is currently about 6 months pregnant at the age of 16.
  • This troper still manages to fool many of her friends, considering that she is a Catholic school girl who is always polite and kind. Some of her friends who don't have lunch with her or have never seen any of her pages on the internet are very disturbed when she comes out with something perverted. She also finds people's reactions to her swearing to be particularly funny as well.
  • I'm seen by my friends as someone who is quite innocent, and isn't interested in sex. And then I go home and read yaoi manga.
  • This troper is a good example. Most people who have heard of him think he's just a innocent scholar. Well, his closest friends and immediate family knows him better. He's got quite a few kinks, but is able to suppress most reactions. Probably most of the people who know him would be aghast at some of the things they don't know. Relatedly, some of his friends still apologize for swearing around him. They must not know he loves the Angry Video Game Nerd and The Nostalgia Critic.
  • This troper is one of those guys that if he's uncomfortable hides in the library all day and won't say a word until spoken to. Cue shock and awe when one of my class buddies hears him say "I'd do her." jokingly. Although in hindsight the guy might had been more amazed that he actually said something and didn't just smile and nod at he comments.
  • This Troper totally fits this. He doesn't discuss any sort of matter of that manner with anyone, friends included (I'm sure it would rather put off some of my good buddies, and I'd rather not deal with the awkwardness), but has a long list of fetishes of varying degrees of oddity (I don't go for Guro, scat or watersports, probably because I have a weak stomach. On the matter of bestiality, I personally don't want to have sex with animals, I just think it's hot to see girls doing it with animals, no, don't ask why), both regular Porn and Hentai. People are occasionally surprised when I make suggestive comments or giggle immaturely at adult jokes, too. It's gotten to the point where one family friend always makes raunchy jokes around this Troper just to try and break his mask. Sadly, it usually works, because I laugh real easy.
    • You are not alone, at least with the things you specifically said. Mum's the word, though.
  • This troper thought he was a Covert Pervert. However, a deep furry fetish and dirty talk online, yes, they are girls (and stuff like Boone/Shannon) is really nothing compared to the rest of the list.
  • This troper fits this perfectly in day to day life. People have accused her of asexuality (wrong), anhedonia (wrong), schizoid personality disorder (a little), lesbianism (very much so), and worse due to a perceived complete lack of interest in all things sexual. There are three entities who know better: her girlfriend, the #tropers chat room, and her browser history >_>
  • If those who know this troper knew how much she is into yaoi, yuri, het, hentai, etc. they'd be SHOCKED to realize how dirty she is. It doesn't help that she's got such an innocent face and is a bit of a Shrinking Violet with a permanent Luminescent Blush on her cheeks...
  • This troper harbors Perverse Sexual Lust for a few characters. However, that is nothing compared to his far more closet fetish: hairy arms on girls. He's managed to get a few hairy-armed female friends (one of which finds her arms gross, the other two not really caring about theirs) to let him feel their arm hair through * ahem* indirect means of asking, like commenting that he hasn't shaved his own arms in a while. And when he does get the chance, he gets a rather embarrassing sensation out of it. And the most embarrassing part about this fetish? It's even lesser-known than coprophilia (scat fetish) and guro.
    • Recently, a Squicky comment from a friend who imagined him as a girl and this troper's crush as a guy with a big penis has gotten him to think things about himself and said crush that he should not be thinking. In the words of Shinji Ikari: "I'm so fucked up."
      • Have you been reading this place? We ALL are. Welcome.
      • Here's your t-shirt.
  • This Troper is probably somewhat normal by internet standards, but still quite perverted. The guys in his dorm are completely unaware of this fact. They probably assumed I didn't even know what porn was until the following exchange occurred during a game of I Never:Some Guy:I have never watched gay porn.This Troper: I have a question regarding the exact definition of "gay"?Everyone Else: * stares* Some Guy: Um...what?This Troper: Is "gay" specific to men? Or would it also include lesbians?Some Guy: Uh...I guess gay women would be included, so yeah, it includes lesbians.This Troper: Damn.
  • This troper seems, on the outside, to be uninterested and/or clueless of sexual things. In reality, I'm quite the opposite.
  • This Troper got his fill of perverted-ness two nights ago. He went to some function where everyone had to wear name tags. Several of the girls had placed their name tags on their chests, so I could ogle their boobs with the possibility of passing it off as looking at their name tags if I got caught. I tell you, Maricel Hernandez had a nice rack.
  • This troper seems like a quiet bookwormy geek who isn't interested in anything sexual at all at first but she probably has the dirtiest mind out of all her friends, which is saying a lot. Not to mention her sense of humour...
    • Okay, I need to stop staying up so late. I don't remember ever writing this.
    • That goes for me too. In fact, I actually may have written that and forgot.
  • This Troper has a overheard a straight-A classmate of his talking to a friend of her say the words "I never would've guessed how much I like incest." Turns out she was into Yaoi Twincest fanfiction.
  • Damn, how many of us are there anyway?
  • This troper firmly believes her saying of everyone has a dirty mind, but not everyone chooses to speak their mind.
    • Wait a second. I thought I made that up!
  • This Troper seems sweet and innocent to those who do not know her and almost all adults. Her friends, however, can attest that she has the dirtiest mind out of the entire group. Her mind has caused Squick on more than one occasion, to both herself and to others. While she doesn't go around looking up porn on the internet, her imagination causes her mind to just roll with ideas.
  • This Troper, due to a modest fashion sense and relatively reserved manners, had convinced a chance acquaintance that she was Amish or otherwise pure-living and pious. However, when the guy in question (who is several years older and by no means sheltered) sat in on a conversation between me and one of my friends, we managed to squick him, although the sheer weirdness may have had as much to do with this as the sexual references.
  • This Troper, who most people think is still a virgin, would think the same people would be shocked to find her favorite lists filled with Fem Dom, Forced Feminization, as well as Guro and Somnophilia sites. Also This troper has a thing for....chubby guys so when ever her bigger friend is nearby she takes a little longer to hang on to that hug.
    • 'bigger friend'?... are you talking about me? You sound awfully familiar... * intense stare*
  • Although her closest friends know how dirty she is, this troper would just love to see the shock on some people's faces if she told them all about her kinks; bondage, hatesex, weapon!porn, submissive boys and dominant women just being the most liked. She's guessing that those people would have a heart attack if they knew.
    • Hello, me. I've managed to keep these all under wraps except the bondage kink; confessed it while I was drunk to a huge group of people and had to do my best to downplay it in the morning. Now I can't help but wonder what they would do if they knew that was only the tip of the iceberg...
  • Ah, yes. While still confused on sexuality and fetishes, this Troper still qualifies. I've had the oddest stares when I swear (including one declaration that the world will end because I swore). Also, I tend to keep rather mum on raunchy jokes and berate those who laugh at them ("It's just a voicebox, shut up, you pervs!"). However, I have an expansive knowledge of Hentai manga, which kind of shocked my friends. "Oh my God, I read a bit of the weirdest hentai manga ever! It's called My Balls-" "The manga with the demon sealed inside some guy's balls? What about it?" "..."
  • This Troper has only recently developed a thing for... uh... nosebleeds. They're just so drippy... and red...
    • Finally, this other troper finds a use for her chronic nosebleeds! *shot*
  • This Troper has squicked the un-squickable. Which is odd, because her fetishes tend to be rather tame in comparison to some of the other one's I've found. Yuri, Yaoi, Gainaxing. That's about it.
  • This troper is tame by some of the standards she's just read about, and she's a weird case anyway, while she thinks about sex more than anyone thinks she does, often can't get squicky stuff out of her head, reads and updates the Fetish Fuel pages, reads Tenth Doctor Twincest fics for porn, and is gay for Summer Glau and Eliza Dushku and by gay I mean I'll be in my bunk- she finds shirtless scenes uncomfortable to watch even as she sort of likes it and if anyone actually ASKS her about fetishes or how she likes to have sex she's just kind of shocked.
    • Wait, I don't remember posting that...
  • Inverted by this troper. He likes to put up a perverted facade, and look like he's infatuated by many males (though, he's gotta admit, some guys go to bishonen levels it's hard to not see SOMETHING in them) and many girls. Truth be told, inside, he don't really care enough about guys to be called bi or gay and there's around two girls that he finds attractive.... In his eyes, most other girls are either complete sluts or completely ugly. He's been trying to become completely asexual and aromantic because he sees them more as annoyances at this point of life.
  • Once while joking with friends this troper makes a mention to [1], promptly earning an "I didn't know you knew about that" from another person due to this troper usually being exceedingly quiet during dirty joke exchanges otherwise.
    • Yeah, that's always a riot. Your friends finding out you have porn, when they assumed you didn't.
      • No, the riot comes in when you actually tell them what your stash is.
      • True. My own stash isn't... very well hidden. It's intentionally that way. Any friend of mine who uses my computer while I am out of the room gets the warning- If you find it, have fun... but be warned, you might not like what you see in there... >:3 No one's dared to look into it so far, bwahahahaha...
  • So, my whole family thinks that I'm a nice, sweet kid, you know. The kid who blushes when he talks to a pretty girl or gets disgusted when he hears a sex joke. At least that's the way I am around my family. Around my friends, I'll usually let a 'That's what she said' slip, or tell a dirty joke know and then. My friends usually burst out laughing when I say something like that. Or they just stare at me in shock.
  • This one assumes that no-one would guess at first glance that she is a complete and utter chivalrous and covert pervert. They may think she's shy and prude but they'd never guess that she's imagining naughty things involving two naked, sweaty men a lot of the time. |-3
    • Are you me?
  • This Troper.
  • This Troper... doesn't want to be this. He's happily married to his job, and doesn't want to ogle every late teen or 20-something girl that passes by. He's been Distracted By The Sexy so many times it hurts to think about.
  • No one This Troper knows in real life could have ever suspected that the sweet quiet girl sitting in the back of class was really curious and would grow into one of the biggest perverts around. Her family still doesn't know, but all her friends do. And some of them LOVE IT.
  • It is so fucking sweet that everybody that knows this troper thinks he's quite the innocent and uneducated sap. Taken even further when it's transferred to my comics (I added a list of tropes under Characters/Amperschwa for the interested), going so far as to directly mention S&M and 'Compensating For Something' and /yaoi fanfiction writers./
  • I may be asexual, but I've got a weird... thing about hands. I've got a skin condition, so my hands are, at best, completely hideous. So people who've got very soft, smooth hands fascinate me. I can't stand being touched, but I love holding hands 'cuz I get to feel other people's palms.
  • This troper is quiet and rather shy. She blushes very easily at non-sexual stuff, like if she receives compliments and when she meets new people. Everyone seems to think she's an innocent flower. Bring up hentai and watch her go from zero to Motor Mouth at a rate faster than the speed of light. Her two closest friends are perverts themselves and are into some of the same hentai that this troper is into, except everyone knows that they're dirty minded. They've tried to tell all the other friends about this troper's pervyness, it's dismissed as Cassandra Truth. This troper doesn't have any plans to shatter everyone else's illusions, but if the perfect moment were to arrive she certainly wouldn't waste it.
  • This troper is known as the quiet one who makes straight A's and B's and is polite to everyone 99% of the time...... in public. At home, though, she is a regular to 4chan's /h/ and /d/ boards, spends hours searching for and watching hardcore bondage hentai, knows more than 30 good, free porn sites, draws and writes highly explicit scenes, and has more fetishes than you can shake a stick at.
  • Once, at lunch, my friends were talking about how disgusting fart porn is. Needless to say, I did not bring up my own... interests.
  • This troper isn't that much into sex, but would probably shock lots of people if they saw what kind of porn I enjoy or what are my fetishes. Let's halt here, as I don't want to become someone else's squick.
  • This Troper is a borderline FA. Borderline as in, she's a bit squicked out by all the inflation and WG erotica out there, yet seeing a cute guy with a potbelly just turns her on. Unfortunately, it often seems to her that the majority her fellow F As are a bunch of creepy nutcases who never, ever think of anything besides their fetish if they can help it. Generally, these are people she does not want to be in any way associated with, which has pushed her even farther into her little closet than she was when she first discovered her little fetish, leaving no one save maybe one or two folks she knows personally to suspect her of anything. Ironically, this is far from her only perversion, and she is rather...vocal about the rest of them.
  • This troper's friend, who is usually an innocent Cloud Cuckoo Lander, will occasionally say something that should never be heard in a high school environment.
  • I once fantasized about my friend teaching me about how to perform cunnilingus... as her boyfriend walked in, who she then proceeded to command to do me in the arse. When I told her about said fantasy, her first reaction was "pervert" and her second was "I never would have imagined that you'd talk like that". As she's more openly perverted than I am, this sorta counts.
  • This troper suspects she probably comes across this way. She's usually very quiet, but, goddamnit, if two of your friends were a couple and one joked, in all innocence, about eating the other, you'd have to say something about it, wouldn't you? And she fancies way more people than she'd ever admit. Not Anything That Moves, but she apparently has a severe weakness for almost anyone about her age with a foreign accent... especially if they're taken and/or the wrong orientation. Why do I do these things?
  • This troper isn't a covert pervert, per se. Rather, she just needs to be around the right people to really get into her kinky groove. If put in a chat with anyone that's even remotely snarky or a fan of word play, I can really play up the part as a master of innuendo. Some conversations become contests to see just how many double or triple entendres we can fit into our banter.
  • This and That Male Tropers wonder if it's possible to be thought of as a pervert, yet underneath secretly be highly romantic and sweet. If so, not to toot our own horns, but we believe that we are it.
    • If it's possible to be thought of as a complete monster jerkass, yet still have a heart of gold, then toot your own horns.
  • This troper... Let's see, bisexual? check. Yaoi Fangirl? Check. Yuri Fangirl? check. Furry Fetish? check. bondage fetish? Check. To this date, two people in real life know about most of this. No one outside the internet knows about the furry thing... Except my one friend, who doesn't count because she doesn't even know what that IS. >.<
  • There is a running gag amongst This Troper's family members that she is one of these, and her brother-in-law liked to joke that he would search her computer and find her Porn Stash. It doesn't help that she's downloaded LOTS of pictures of near-naked men and women to work on her anatomy for art (no, seriously), though the fact that she is a widely acknowledged Asexual (I'm even on the Troper Tales page for that one) does keep the joking to a minimum. Of course, this troper won't deny that there is some truth to these claims, as she preferrs to download the pictures that are the sexiest without being outright hentai or porn. And yes, it is possible to be a mild Covert Pervert and Asexual at the same time.
  • I appear to be a normal but quiet person to the rest of scociety. But I am actualy very perverted. My fetishes include, but are not limited to: futa, preggo, egg laying, monstergirls, BE, peeing, transformation, all aspects of BDSM, and sometimes guro (when it's done well). I knew I was realy bad when I got turned on by looking at a picture of a fruit fly laying an egg.
  • This Troper. She's rather quiet, comes across as a bit of a loner, and (unknown to most others) carries around two notebooks, which have....'interesting' content. Now imagine the surprise of one of her dirtier-minded friends, when she accidentally looked in one of said notebooks...Said Troper is also friends with a Chivalrous Pervert, and they have spent many a time discussing filthy stories, and other such things.
  • This Troper is nothing but a Genius Ditz at first glance, and, to some people, apparently seems so innocent that even a simple "Shit!" makes eyebrows rise and jaws drop. While quite a few of her friends wear their green minds and potty mouths like honor students' medals, their knowledge of things seems shallow to the point that this troper feels that she's the only one with fetishes (or at least the only one who knows she has them). She doesn't talk about those fetishes, whatever they may be. Also, she may not be the only one.
  • I'm constantly seen by my classmates as the imaginative, innovative, naive, smart, kind, and warm guy. Up until the Sexual Education unit, in which I name all of the male and female sex organs and how they work.
  • This troper is not quite so much Covert Pervert as Overshadowed Pervert. I'm usually pretty tame in the presence of others, and even among friends I'm a quiet guy. My girlfriend is a Memetic Molester and my best friends consist of a Lovable Sex Maniac, a Depraved Bisexual, and a severely repressed pervert who can only really let himself go when in good company. As a result, most people think I'm downright chaste. This is because they don't hear most of my conversations with my girlfriend. Also, they fail to register that I can sit in a room with all this perversion flying around and I'm usually smiling; and the few times I do add to the conversation, it's usually something that gives the others pause for a few seconds.
  • This troper is presumed to be an innocent by all but her very closest friends (who know better). Recently a much younger friend went into a minor Heroic BSOD when she realized that the troper, who is married, actually does have a sexual relationship with her husband.Friend: This is worse than thinking of my parents having sex!
  • This troper..Isn't one. Okay, maybe she is. But she's Asexual, and very curious, so she can use that to cover up anything. Not like anyone notices her.
  • This Troper is a pervert, and proud. Really. She's just Too Kinky To Torture, an Yaoi Fangirl, and a victim of Perverse Sexual Lust to dozens of characters. People just don't seem to believe it, mostly because of my Bookworm/ Badass Bookworm and Pentakko traits. * pats chest* I bet if they were larger, people would imediately notice the lewd grin I wear most of the time.
    • Really? This troper usually finds the pettankos to be even more suspicious than others.
  • This troper is most definitely this around her friends. She takes the role of The Ditz or The Chick, but on the inside...well, she goes on this site, doesn't she?
  • Some of the thoughts this troper has had would give her classmates heart attacks (not that the they're particularly depraved, mind you, I'm just not the sort of person you'd expect it from).
  • I let my imagination run wild when I'm bored. Not only am I bored often, but it roams in very sexy places.
  • This troper has a reputation for being a withdrawn academic, and suspects that half of his social circle is convinced he's either asexual or attracted to computer hardware. I'm thankful for both my and my friends' sakes that my mind is a good enough labyrinth to keep the extent of my "knowledge" from spilling over into the real world. To put things in perspective, I have never visited 4chan, but have elicited knowing smiles of kinship from those who frequent it. Also, when I swear, people treat it like a wildlife sighting.
  • This Troper typically comes across as a shy, constantly dreaming introvert with no interest in sexual matters. She is careful not to breathe a word to anyone about her interest in BDSM, graceful feet, involuntary physical changes, and mind control of various flavours. Bound characters about to (unwillingly) undergo a permanently altering physical or mental procedure elicit a particularly intense response.
  • This troper has a male friend who is quite stoic and doesn't talk much. One day, him, me, and another friend (who is a Large Ham) were discussing another girl's breasts. (Er... We do that a lot.)Large Ham: They look so weird! Damn, it's hard to describe... * moves in to demonstrate on my breasts*This troper: * slaps hand away* Don't touch them.Large Ham: Why not!? Do it yourself then, squeeze them sort of like this...This troper: I am not going to squeeze my breasts.Large Ham: C'mon, do it, do it, do it!The Stoic: Please do it.This troper: You stay out of this!!
  • This Troper's friends believe him to be a mild mannered and shy person. Some of the things I have interests in would make most people squirm should they find out.
  • At some point during her childhood this vigilante taxonomist is fairly sure her brain swapped the intended reactions to sex and violence. As an eleven- and twelve-year-old she'd already started hoarding torture scenes like most adolescents supposedly look for sex. She comes off as very innocent and functionally asexual, what with the overriding disgust with (almost) anything that could come out of a human body that makes her sick at the thought of even kissing someone, the lack of interest in romance (or sex, thank you, plus her reaction to masturbation being "okay, bored now" except for one ... notable... case) and the general impression of not really understanding people — but she got most of her sexual education from the Department of Bad Slash (and has had to keep herself from volunteering information on anal sex during class) and is a (somewhat obvious) masochist (doesn't like needles, though). Not to mention the reason that she wears chokers and cuff bracelets and that she'll do pretty much anything if asked to by someone she likes — namely, that she's heavily into BDSM and it sort of... seeps out. Not to mention the fascination with hatesex and fictional incest. And (fictional. Usually) serial killers, to the point where one of her checklists for Perverse Sexual Lust Potential goes "tall/dark/psychotic". Also androgynous people and people who're Ft M transgendered. And the voices of certain British men who happen to be as old as or older than her mid-fifties father...
    • Also, she's fourteen. And would like to add that coming off as a Straight Bisexual (yes, yes, it doesn't work quite as well, run with me here) is very useful when it comes to staring at girls. (Unhealthy appreciation for PE just for the frequency of short skirts and scraped knees? ...Maybe.) She pointed this out to a (male) friend after being called out on it — "See, if it was you, she'd be creeped out. Since I'm a girl she probably thinks she got dust on her skirt or something" — and managed to shock him because she forgets he is still pretty new to even the concept of her being bi/pansexual.
      • ...Okay, I'm done. Whew.
  • You would never expect me to know so much about sexual fetishes when you'd meet me the first time. Until the conversation turns to sex and things people are grossed out about; usually I masturbate to that.
  • raises hand shyly* I have more kinks than a tangled garden hose. I've also got all the confidence of a startled squirrel. Covert Perversion is the only way!
  • Indeed. Covert Perversion is strong within this pretty much asexual-by-design troper. I'm able to banish any and all inappropriate thoughts from interaction with other people through sheer force of will. Avoiding soiling his clothes at night requires... well, attack is the best form of defense, and a no holds barred beatdown is the best... solution, to this problem. Cold Blooded Torture, corpses, waste products and male homosexuality aside, anything goes. Anything.
  • This is me, just a bit. I've never been kissed, is a virgin and has never had a boyfriend, and is normally really, REALLY awkward when talking about sex...but I sometimes say the occasional comment (which surprises people, even if it wasn't that bad) or "That'sWhatSheSaid" Jokes that gives everyone a little peak as to what actaully goes on in my head. And that's just the tip of the iceburg. I don't think about anything truely "perverse" (at least by choice, I think I have a bit of OCD in that respect), but I have read hardcore yaoi before. Not as "bad" as some of the examples on this page, but still.
  • I'm the prudiest person I've ever met, but am just as prone to inappropriate humor as any other outgoing teenager, so it always takes people by surprise because me and sex apparently refuse to connect in their minds.
  • This Troper has been described as things like "chaste" and "innocent", but is probably one of the most, if not the most, perverted person in his social group. He has a hentai fetish and sometimes develops strong sexual urges when alone, even though he's the last person anyone expects to be like this at all. EVER. He's also never been on a date.
  • This troper play with a group of friends like this. They were all very nerdy and hardworking, two of them are the top students. Of course they are absolutely dirty.
  • This troper's first fetish was catgirl bondage. At the age of nine. She then moved on to yaoi, then yaoi twincest, then yuri, and is now on DP, guro, and threesomes/moresomes. And Pokemon furry. She occasionally ships het ouples, but only in OT3s. For a very long time, her friends thought that she was a cute, "innocent", little girl with absolutely no sexuality. Then they found her collection of .... ahem... art.....
  • This troper. Outside: Shrinking Violet. Inside: Anything That Moves.
  • This troper to a T. When she does make a dirty comment or joke, people are...surprised. A good example:
    • Troper: I love water polo. Seriously, I love this sport. I want to marry it.
    • Friend 1: If you marry Water Polo, then what is it when the other girls get in the water?
    • Troper: We have an open marriage. We love each other, but we have hos on the side. Sometimes things get kinky.
    • Friend 2: O_O I did...not expect that from you.
    • Troper:...You know, it was kind of a surprise to me too.
  • ThisTroper is just a boyfriendless inoccent nerd...or would be if she haven't discoved her perferences and made her fully realize she has a transformation/mind control fetish. And just maybe a "thing" for [CuteShotaroBoys (Thank you TvTropes! And you too Ken Amada!) A Crowning Moment Of Funny happened when a lustful graduate had is table where his notebook was at surrounded by baseballs. Inspiration flashed and I wrote down this, "You have lots of balls not that I'd know." (Read: I didn't go to any of his ballgames.) Many people were surprised at this.
  • My best friend is kind of like Giselle in real life, but occasionally she has her moments.Friend: That girl has really nice boobs.Friend's mother: What?!
  • This Troper still hasn't lost her reputation as a scary, somehow asexual Badass Bookworm, no matter how often she makes references to the possible activities of everyone else in BDSM, any fetishes of them or some other Porn Tropes. And except her boyfriend and her best friend, nobody would ever dare to suspect she isn't quite as chaste, silent and emancipated and dominant as she appears to be; though her passion for Hentai is still very well hidden a secret.
  • This troper has always been very reserved when talking about sex. However, in addition to being somewhat bisexual, he also has a raging transformation fetish, to the point where I'm starting to suspect I'm transgender, and is also at heart a massive slut. Unfortunately, he's far too shy to be the manslut he wants to be.
    • Oh my god you're me. Although, I'm not to good at being covert, and pretty much all of my friends know. Plus... my girlfriend knows quite well how much of a slut I am...
  • This troper is nothing resembling a Covert Pervert, at least within his group of friends. But people who don't know him very well? Before they even learn that he's gay (which sometimes causes surprise), they tend to be quite shocked when he (even mildly) swears or cracks a smutty joke. It's probably because he's very much The Quiet One, at least in most situations in public. After they see the crazier and sillier side of this troper, the illusions are usually all gone. (Still, he's fairly sure nobody he knows is aware of his thing for armpits.)
  • This troper's closest friends, who have known him through most of puberty and now into his twenties, have established that he likes girls. That is ALL they have established. Since his fetish, mild weight gain and/or chubby girls in tight clothing, is easily satisfied on a day-to-day basis, he needs no porn stash which could potentially betray him. And he keeps his mouth shut because he doesn't want his female friends suspecting that his practicing his baking on them has any sort of ulterior motive. (For the most part, it really doesn't. But he doesn't want them suspecting that anyway.)
  • I honestly don't know how else to describe myself when it comes to sexuality. I'm not lecherous, I loathe crude sex jokes, and things like bikini girls and nude scenes don't usually warrant anything from me other than a knowing look or a raised eyebrow. Hell, I don't think a single person I know would think of me as knowing when it comes to sexuality. And yet, the things I think about, that I've fantasized about......to be honest, I'm rather ashamed of it. I know women (and perhaps men) aren't mere tools of satisfaction, but I just can't help but have these thoughts. And MAN, these thoughts. I blame the Internet. And by blame, I mean thank.
  • This troper and his girlfriend both give off an aura of stoicism and innocence respectively: My best friend is still under the delusion that he's the more perverted of us, and her best friend was utterly shocked when told that we had done the deed. And we didn't even tell her how many times we did it not too long after. Or what rooms we did it in.
  • This troper, who most people assume is the nice, gentlemanly type, shocked one of his friends by casually discussing how difficult it is to find quality pornography on the internet and going into explicit detail about why. This troper also assumed his girlfriend was a lot more innocent than he was until I gave her a back rub with unexpected results
  • This troper. Very innocent looking, politely spoken, very quiet, almost never tells any sex related jokes and almost all innuendo's made are accidental. Changed that image when he swore loudly (twice) in the same English (and, about six months later, Law) lesson, much to everyone's surprise (including the TEACHER(S)!). The law lesson was also the first time I used the C word (I was telling everyone in the lesson what another friend had said about someone, sans any censoring), causing the teacher's jaw to drop and the entire class to fall silent. I've since been described as Badass by some of the popular people in my Law class (which is basically a third of the class: not actually that impressive when you learn there are only nine people in the entire class).
  • I'm a bit shy and reserved, and some people probaly think of me as kind of innocent. Then, at school, a classmate were reading lines out loud from a book we were doing a report on. Out of context, the text sounded... a bit wrong, and I started laughing, pointing that out. Some of the others seemed to be surprised that I though of it that way, and my friend said "I never knew you were such a pervert".

Some people also seem surprised the first time they hear me swear.

  • My friends call this troper a sweet, innocent and adorable young girl who's childish thoughts are too young for her real age. Although, she will blunty tell you sexual related jokes, swears and read porn since the timid age of eight and did not even know it until ten. Yup, read porn for two years and did npt even know it was.
  • This troper is generally thought of as chaste, innocent, and shy. However, only shy applies. This troper has never been kissed, nor has he had a boyfriend (but is not a virgin); and yet he love Yaoi and is very sadistic. This troper is generally not masochistic though, but would LOVE to be another guy's (or guys') sex slave. He is a hybristophiliac and symphorophiliac. He also has other fetishes that would squick a lot of other tropers, and squicks out the few friends who know about them; and they are usually the lewd ones.
  • This troper's girlfriend is definitely a case of this. She didn't tell me she liked yaoi until we had been going out for three months. I never would have expected it. Also, she implied that she would like to see me with another guy.
  • This troper certainly qualifies. He is 16 and 1/2 as of writing this, and is generally very polite and shy, tending to avoid social situations. He makes it his duty to help out others when he can, and usually doesn't really like talking about sex and partying and what not. In fact, he loathes talking about those things. But, he is out as bisexual with his closest friends and with his family, and has the following fetishes (though they really technically aren't since I don't absolutely need them to get off): For the guys, it's Vore, belching, stomach sounds, feederism, BO/Arm pits, watersports, degradation, bodybuilders, beer bellies Bara type guys, and... Large "Equipment". For the gals, it's lots of jewelry, long (press on!) nails, and high heels. And then for both it's leather, BDSM, butts, rolepay, dirty talk, and exhibitionism. This troper would willingly do somebody between the ages of 16 and 80 (as long as they aren't really saggy) and between 100 and 500 pounds (as long as they have a good face). He will indulge most fantasies, even if he doesn't share them as much as his partner (furry suits are fine as long as he has "access to certain areas". He finds this image sexy. And he's even seen a 1 or 2 appealing Guro pictures; though most of those extremely squick him out. He does have his limits, though, as the previous sentence indicated. Whenever it stretches outside of fantasy he does not and will not allow the following: hard drugs, lots of drinking, crapping or vomiting on him, underage sex, and above all non-consensual acts and zoosadism/bestiality. Also, nothing violent involving vital organs and orifices. And he's sorry, but absolutely none of this. That's just.... creepy (to him). He also doesn't want to do sounding or have his balls crushed. But aside from those things, almost anything else one can think of is fair game for this troper. Yet despite everything just written by him, he is actually a virgin. And by choice, no less. The reason being that he doesn't feel that he is emotionally ready for sexual intercourse, and would rather focus on other things than getting laid. He also tends to look down on people younger than him who have sex, for various reasons (though there are certainly exceptions to the rule). And lastly, he can't believe he just admitted all that (did I just win the Covert Pervert high score?), and is kind of regretting posting it. He understands if you're majorly Squicked out. Especially if you're a straight dude.
  • Chihuahua0: (One of the first Troper Tales entries created in this wiki) Me. I'm a horny teenager who wanted to preserve Fetish Fuel for several reasons, like this one. No one in Real Life knows this. :3
  • Definitely me. I seem quiet, shy and bookwormy to everyone except my friends. My friends and I all make a lot of sexual jokes and playfully flirt with each other ALL the time (like, seriously, I can almost count on the fingers of one hand the amount of conversations/interactions I have had with my friends that have NOT devolved into something dirty,) but they still have no idea of the actual extent of my pervy-ness. Whilst I have had very little sexual experience, am I a Depraved Bisexual who would do almost Anything That Moves thats between 16 and 60 years old and 45 and 100kg if given half a chance, see Fetish Fuel just about anywhere, am a huge Slash and Femslash fangirl who has been reading smut since I was 13 and writing it since I was 15, and in fact currently has porn of some description in 5 out of the 8 tabs I have open, as well as a word document containing a smutty slash fic I'm writing. I actually appear so innocent that all my friends were surprised when I came out as bi recently, even though I've never done anything to hide it. In fact, I'd have thought my female friends would have to be blind not to notice me checking them out. And when I casually mentioned my smutty slash writing to online friends who I thought would be open minded, they were completely shocked and horrified and actually told me off about it because I shattered their 'innocent' image of me! My numerous kinks that no one knows about include bondage, furries (slightly), double penetration/fisting, threesomes and moresomes, fuck or die scenarios, mind control, tattoos/piercings (not genital though), corsets, pegging, roleplay, rough sex (biting, hair pulling etc,) rimming, foeyay/dubcon, orgasm denial/begging, spanking, breathplay, knifeplay, gunplay, shotacon and lolicon (as long as it's consensual), exhibitionism, voyeurism, pregnancy (slightly), vamipirism (and some other mythical creatures, particularly fairys/elves and mermaids), incest/twincest (fictional only) etc etc etc. Basically, nearly anything that doesn't involve bodily fluids, I'm down with. Also, I'm so shameless I'm typing this even though my mother is in the same room.
  • Getting hugs from girls is like collecting trophies for me. I even keep a mental tally of how tightly they hug me, if I can feel their boobs against my chest, if so how noticably, if they or I initiate the hug, and how long the hug lasts. I even assign ratings based on how much I enjoy their hugs, and getting hugs from certain girls is considered a special occasion, or even an achievement!
  • Figure I'll be adding myself in... Well, this troper isn't so much "covert" as "unknown", but he is generally a quiet/shy/anti-social guy, who happens to have a very long fetish list. Probably all the hentai.
  • Pretty much all my close friends know that I'm a Yaoi Fangirl, but I'm guessing that most of them wouldn't guess in a million years a lot of the other stuff that I'm into... (*CoughTentaclerapeCough*)
  • This troper is notorious around her school for being straight-laced and having never slept with anyone (it was a shock to everyone when she announced she had a boyfriend), but nobody would ever know her kinks if they did not know her well enough. Older men, wounds/scars, elves (yes, elves), male/male oral, blood, pubic/body hair, mild BDSM, nipples... and there may be more she does not know of yet.
  • This troper is pretty much the textbook example of a covertly perverted geek: a shy, very geeky guy with poor social skills, a low self-esteem, a list of kinks of which some even freak himself out, and a libido that seems untiring. He has never had sex, is hopeless at flirting, and the running joke is that him getting a girlfriend would be a sign of the apocalypse. People who don't know him personally and hasn't learned about his perverted side would probably be surprised that he is even interested in sex at all, and while some of his closest friends do know he's not exactly an innocent asexual, nobody knows about all the kinks or the actual level of his libido.
  • This troper has a couple of fetishes that no-one knows about and a huge libido, but here's the awesome thing: Me and my friend were once having a joke conversation about men's eyes being drawn to the boobs, and then went on to discuss how we both learnt to glance at boobs during conversation without being noticed. Only he was joking. The really, REALLY great thing? We had this conversation in front of a couple of girls, who thought we were joking and I glanced at their boobs about five times during the conversation
  • This troper is usually the type of person you'd expect to be completely innocent. Which is why, whenever I say something perverted, people are extremely surprised. I remember one time when I made a 'that's what she said' joke during lunch, my friend that's two years older than me was totally freaked out. And although my friends know I'm a yaoi fangirl, let's just say I'm glad mind reading doesn't exist.
  • This troper finds it fun to hide his more alternative perversions, such as his love for futanari(as well as real transsexuals/shemales), BDSM, femdom, latex, pregnancy, and other strange kinks by displaying high amounts of "perversion" in the standard form of lechery. So in short, I cover up perversion by being outwardly perverted and lecherous. Pervertception.
  • More like a Covert Nightmare Fetishist. This tropers uses obfuscating innocence (is that a thing?) all the time, to maintain her image as the sweet, quiet one. If they only knew. I wouldn't hurt a fly... I just happen to, um...enjoy...thinking about the things that go bump in the night hurting me.
  • To my friends I am known as the virgin deadpan snaker. Ever since my girlfriend told me about some bondge and mild dom/sub fantasies she had my thoughts of late have moved more towards those areas. Master has such a nice ring to it.
  • Having an industrial bout of OCD and a severe, sometimes crippling germaphobia made this troper's love for omorashi quite a surprise among his friends.
  • In real life, this troper is known as a shy and eccentric pre-teen with no friends over 13. People would be shocked if they found out that, online, I'm a femslashfic writer with an omorashi fetish.
  • This troper is seen as the quiet, smart, seemingly innocent girl, to the point that my classmates are shocked that she laughed at a sexual joke that was made by someone else. Only her friends know that she is actually a Yaoi Fangirl and a Nightmare Fetishist
  • This troper has been known his whole life as the quiet asexual geek who plays too many video games. If any of his friends know he "goes to bed" just to browse hentai sites for tentacles and maids for a few hours each night, they haven't tipped their hand.
  • This troper is seen as the smart deadpan snarker who is absolutely brutal to someone who asks a stupid question. Even though I'm reknown for my snark, whenever I make a racy comment or curse, everyone is shocked. Only my clostest friend knows of my deep, dark fetishes (I.E Nazi fetish, Rape fetish, Being helpless and at the whims of an angry male) and the fact that I write yaoi. HARDCORE yaoi. I'm also a nightmare fetishist to the major degree, and if anyone ever found out, I think that I'd be commited to the nearest nuthouse.
  • This troper usually comes off to people as a "sweet, nice sort of kid".  YEAH RIGHT.  If you asked any of my friends from college, they'd tell you I was probably the freaking biggest...or at least weirdest pervert in the group.  More kinks than your average mind can imagine, (Watersports, feet, musky smelling crotches, scat, slight bondage...exhibitionism, socks...probably more that I can't think of...) and a fondness for breaking the minds of my friends.  In one situation, it took me all of a few seconds.  The guy before me had tried for like...five minutes,  Also, my (now-ex) fiance, and in fact all of my exes and I had sex on/in at least one public stairway.  Yeah, sweet...ish boy on the surface, raging perv inside.  Gotta love it.

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