Have you ever licked a lamppost in winter?


  • The Token Evil Teammate Morrigan. She's a curvy Dark Magical Girl with Eyes Of Gold and a Deadpan Snarker. When you play the role of the hero, she turns into a full-on Tsundere. The fact that she's voiced by Claudia Black also gives her a wonderfully sexy accent. For once, it's also the woman who says "Let's keep this entirely sexual and not bring love into it."
    • Also her costume is barely painted on.
    • The dog also forces her to go without underwear during the game by putting dead animals in her unmentionables. Except if you play with the camera a bit you can see that she is indeed wearing underwear, so that just means she's wearing the same underwear the whole quest.
    • And then there's her teasing the Warden after having sex, even speaking in baby-talk.
  • Leliana the Bard is the sweet, innocent, yet thoroughly crazy redhead of the group. She's got a sexy French accent and a suit of leather armor a little too sexy for actual protection but not into the realm of Stripperiffic. She also used to be a lay sister of the chantry. The fact she's bisexual and willing to engage in a threesome (or even foursome) with the player character in the game if certain choices are followed is even more noticeable. When she finally invites you to her tent, you can play dumb and she'll eventually spell it out for you. Afterwards, she'll more or less command you to come to bed with her. It makes sense, considering she's been, ahem, deprived for some time. Which makes it so much hotter.
  • The Pearl is a brothel where the player characters have a choice of sixteen or so beautiful men, women, and transexuals, to have sex with for fourty silver (though you can bargin your way down to 30). The player character is capable of having sex with all of them with only a tiny amount of disapproval at the start from Leliana or Alistair. Apparently, they don't have that much of a problem with prostitution, only romantic relationships. Heck- Ogren will approve if your female PC chooses another female.

"surprisingly proficient with a two hander"

      • Dwarven Female Prostitute:

"I see you've braved the deep roads before"

      • Elven Male PC with Elven Female Prostitute:

"Talk about a Tree of the People!"

      • Female PC with Female Prostitute, but only if you have Oghren in your party

"Oh... that's just (shriek)" Oghren: "oops, heh heh, wrong room."

      • Transsexual Prostitute:

"I've got a little something for everyone."

    • You also have the option of asking the Madam to "surprise me", in which case you make up in a room with a "husky dwarf" who's also a cross dresser or a torture rack and whip, or a fire poker and fire tongs which are identified on screen as "insertion tool" and "extraction tool".
    • You could also wake up in a room full of nugs.
  • Speaking of the Pearl, Isabela. Sweet thing.
    • And of course, she's taken a level in hotness for the sequel, with the huge tracts of land and the gypsy outfit …
    • Isabela's massive bust. Especially when it's covered in the blood of her enemies!
      • Why? The Order dictates!
  • The human noble PC can indulge their lust with a young elven handmaiden named Iona or with a male noblemen during their Origin. Both of them come to a pretty bad end during Arl Howe's attack.
  • The female PC and Leliana can have a conversation about Alistair's performance in bed. Leliana guesses his pluses have to be the fact that he's obedient and very athletic. If Alistair is in the party, it's even funnier.
  • The Dwarven females in the game are surprisingly cute and attractive. They all have button noses and well built frames which make them recognizably dwarvish yet still very desirable. This troper really liked the barmaid in Orzammar.
    • Let's just go through it all their desirable traits: button noses, doey eyes, baby faces, a lot of curves, good endowment, and do they got back! All without appearing overly squat.
    • It's possible for a Dwarf male PC to have a marathon sex session with two young noble hunters in the opening story. (It gets a lot more serious when you find out one of them later had a son)
  • Some of the mage robes (Chasind robes and Robes of the Witch) provide the wearer with Absolute Cleavage. That's ANY wearer. Even Wynne. Now, take into account's Zevran's descriptions of her "magical bosom"...
    • And then there are the Tevinter mage robes, which provide the wearer with Zettai Ryouiki without being at all Stripperiffic. Hot and classy at once.
  • Speaking of Zevran, how hasn't he been mentioned yet? Seriously. Hot bisexual elf with a voice that makes players of either gender just plain melt, conversations with Wynne about her magical bosom, making Morrigan actually admit that she enjoys being flattered, and dear lord, take him with you next time you romance Alistair... Whoa damn!
  • Desire demons, full stop.
  • And take a gander at the Witherfang. One look and you'll reconsider siding with Zathrian on this curse thing.
  • The Warden and/or Alistair waking up clad only in his/her unmentionables, locked up behind bars in Fort Drakon. Oooh, and and there's a rack right downstairs!
  • Duncan. Just Duncan. Shame he's not available...
    • A female Human Noble can even hit on Duncan, but he politely turns her down (after becoming rather cutely flustered).
  • Bella from Redcliffe. The kiss she gives you makes every drunk in the tavern gape.
  • Wynne. She's got poise, intellect and intuition, toughness, the body of a 20-year-old and a magical bosom, and a sweet, sweet voice I can't stop listening to. Even that brief flirtation she had with Alistair made me think, "Go for it, man! And...can I watch?"
    • I thought the magical bosom qualified as High Octane Nightmare Fuel?
      • Maybe to boys, but not to men. Just ask Alistair and then Zevran.
      • Ask Zevran FIRST.
  • Alistair is an adorkable Deadpan Snarker (but sweet) Woobie who cries - and I love genuine niceness, awkward and insecure love interests, and woobies. So much hurt/comfort potential there. He's also a literal Knight in Shining Armor and a literal prince, appealing to girlish romantic fantasies as well as my knight/paladin kink. I also admit a kink for adult virgins (especially when they're men), so Female!Warden getting to deflower him caused much squee and squiggly feeling. His embarrassment during almost all conversations concerning sex, his unintentional double entendre ("I'd be willing to give it a shot, if you are"), and his Entendre Failures ("I'd love to hop borders - I've never even been close to leaving Ferelden!") were also high-octane jet fuel poured on my fetish for sexually innocent adults. Sadly, "Oh Alistair, I'd lick your lamppost anytime" isn't a possible response when he asks the famous lamppost question. . .
  • Spoiler: the Dark Ritual is. . .fascinating, especially if Alistair and Morrigan, who loathe each other, do it. Yep, this game allows for canon!hatesex/dubcon between two smoking hotties.
  • Anders and Nathaniel from Awakening, full stop. Anders' got looks, humour and a cute, soft spot for animals that's shown via his pet cat, Ser Pounce-A-Lot, that the player can give to him. He also often flirts with a female Warden in party-banter. Nathaniel, on the other hand, is the Tall Dark And Snarky Only Sane Man who starts off bitter towards the Warden, but eventually becomes one of his/her closest friends if you start his Character Development by completing his side-quest. Especially Nathaniel has spawned lots of Slap Slap Kiss fan fiction and these two gentlemen are the main reason, why the fans are really, really dissapointed that Awakening doesn't have any romance options.
  • Velanna. Grey Delisle voicing a gorgeous blonde elven supremacist who'd make Morrigan look like Mother Theresa? *froths at the mouth* Yes, Velanna, all humans are so unworthy of you!
  • Dragon Age II isn't even out yet, and the promotional material is making me all squiggly for Merrill. Dalish Black And White Beauty with tattoos, Blood Magic, an awesome scarf, and apparently Does Not Like Shoes? Gah.
    • Merrill's sexiest aspect is her woobieness, vulnerability, and innocence. When she's crying after Pol flees from her and is killed by the varterral, it definitely kicked in my hurt/comfort fetish...and her blushing, awed reaction to Hawke's affection (and sex) is both adorable and hot. Also: Merrill in a corset, making out with Female!Hawke in her undies: BioWare, you just made this Yuri Fangirl very happy.
  • Merrill's accent. It's like this perfect blend of adorable and cute-sexy. Pure Audio Erotica.
  • You can keep Merrill, but allow me to wax lyrical about Fenris, please and thank you. His appearance, his voice, his personality... Plus the almost aggressive way he and Hawke make out. With female Hawke, her walling Fenris at about 00:17 really does sort of play into my fem!dom fetish. And, you know, the fact that you can romance him while playing as a man, if you so wish.
  • Female Hawke in the Golden Prince's Raiment, there's just something about a dark-haired British Fereldan woman with piercing blue eyes and a voice that just plain sounds dirty in a massive suit of gold armour that I like. A lot.
  • Anders in general makes me feel really squiggly (That first kissing scene comes to mind) but after several playthroughs, I've realized I've developed a fetish for his freaking boots. I don't know why. I don't care why. Anders, I'll do anything you want, as long as you let me feel those boots. And the fur pauldron. And everything else about your robes and goddammit.
    • His voice is pure Audio Erotica, especially when he's talking about how much he wants Hawke ("For the last three years, I've lain awake every night aching for you"...mmm) and most especially when he moans with pleasure as Hawke kisses him. Yeah, I'll be in my bunk. His voice when he's in his frightened self-loathing woobie mode is audio erotica of a different kind - of the "I just want to hold him and comfort him" kind. Like Merrill above, he's terribly sexy at his woobiest and most vulnerable. Also, there's just something about his neck - I just can't stop staring at it and wanting to kiss it. Maybe it's the contrast - soft smooth skin between his stubbly chin and his fur pauldron. Mmm.
  • Meredith (sorry, Knight-Commander Meredith). She's somewhat older than Hawke. But she's beautiful, has these gorgeous blue eyes and surprisingly pretty blonde hair. One of my favourite moments has to be the little smirk she gives Orsino if Hawke blindly supports her during the Qunari invasion. Equal parts smug and sexy. Needless to say, all of my Hawke's took great joy in kissing the Knight-Commander's arse to the last possible minute.
    • For those who aren't yet convinced about the hotness of the Knight-Commander, just take a look at this. That's almost Lady Not Appearing In This Game levels of hotness, except she does appear. As a major character in one of the most well written video-games of all time. There's a reason Bioware are worshipped for their games!
  • I'd let Cassandra Pentaghast interrogate me any day, if you know what I mean. Aggressive, beautiful, that sexy accent. . .ooohh.
  • In my opinion, Bethany is by far the hottest woman in the second game. Too bad she's Hawke little sister. Not that it stops me- /some from thinking about it. And that's if you don't ship her with someone else.