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Doug lives for this stuff.

–Film Brain, on how Doug feels about Fetish Fuel from fans


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(Please don't bother posting explicit stuff on what you want to do to him or what he "deserves". It will only get deleted.)
  • All that eyeliner he had on during his Superman Top 11 countdown. Now granted, it's only there as leftovers from Melvin - Brother Of The Joker but he still looks pretty.
  • He makes some... interesting noises near the end of his laughing fit in the Saved By The Bell review. The fact that he chokes out "I think I just orgasmed..." at the end really doesn't help.
    • Uh, what about the end of the Pink Elephants segment in his Nostalgic Mind Fucks video? "Ahh... Was it good for you?" Yes, critic. Yes. It. Was...
    • His reaction after the first Quest For Camelot-induced explosion seems rather *ahem* post-coital. And the pouting after he saw the damage was adorable.
    • Speaking of, uh, "orgasming", there's also a treat for the girls in the Surf Ninjas video. He's rubbing his hands all over himself, calling out "GENIUS!"... and, oh yes, did I mention he was shirtless?
    • As far as shirtlessness is concerned, a longer, more kick-ass example can be found in the How I Quit My Job sketch. Mmmmm... Triumphant, dancing, bare-chested Nostalgia Critic...
  • For this troper, goatees = NOM. Nostalgia critic therefore also = NOM. I was extremely sad when he shaved his cute little goatee off... :'<
    • Your Mileage May Vary. Don't get me wrong, he's made me love goatees, but he looked so young and innocent clean-shaven that dirty thoughts of corruption come quite easily.
  • It seems I have a slight dilemma; The Nostalgia Critic's opera voice makes me want to jump his bones but I'm seeing a piece of shit singing about, well, shit. Should the second thing cancel out the first thing?
    • Don't worry, my dear, we'll always have... Off To Beat The Nerd
      • My God, he sings Gilbert and Sullivan. I may never recover.
      • Even better, he sings "Three Little Maids From School Are We" in part 6 of Kickassia. *swoon*
    • After the high-pitched beginning, he goes really deep singing the "Junior" song. This troper isn't ashamed to say that she unfed more than a little at that.
    • Might I also suggest "Holiday Clusterfuck"? Singing, plus him looking cute in a Top-Hat, always a nice combo.
    • He sings quite a bit in the "Mr. Nanny" review, in a nice, effeminate voice. And, honestly, the fact that he always sings original or altered-from-the-known songs is a bit of a weird yet awesome turn-on.
    • The "Eighties Montage" song from Little Monsters, anyone? Seriously, Doug should sing in every review.
    • And yet again in the "Secret Of NIMH 2" review. This troper would totally watch "Timmy And The Brain" if he did the opening theme song every episode.
    • And now? Now we have him singing Les Miserables at the end of the Nostaliga Chick's review. *Insert obligatory bunk reference*
    • The Moulin Rouge musical review has caused ovary explosions in women. The man is dangerous.
    • The song "You're A Mean One, Mister Grump" especially that last note...
  • I'm the only one to be more turned on than scared by the ending (or at least until the screen goes black?) of the Critic's Halloween Special, right? Seeing him all scared and dishevelled gives this troper way too many squiggly feelings.
    • And what about what happened just before it? The Critic getting a gun in his mouth is scarily hot, despite who is putting it in there.
      • If it helps at all, he puts the gun in his mouth again when The Supernatural Fast-Talking Dick Club drive him crazy.
      • Also from the Halloween Special...he's rather pretty without the glasses, even though the glasses are fuelly themselves.
  • This troper is so glad that her brain didn't go to a dirty place during the Sidekicks review when the Nostalgia Critic held out his arms like they were being chained up. It was quite a relief.
    • "Next I bet you want to hook up my nipples to car battery. Don't you! Don't you!" Yes, Critic, do try and sound a bit more excited. It's not like I'd buy electrical stuff just to hear you moan or anything.
  • Uhm, uh... "Ooh, bang bang you mean ol' brutes!"... I mean, when he says it, I just have these strange squiggly feelings and... I-I'll return in my bunk...
    • In fact, any time he acts girly is Fetish Fuel for this troper.
    • In the beginning of the bloopers for Spooning With Spoony 2, he's a bit femmy for about a minute. And this troper would laugh, really she would, but he's all batty-eyelashes and comforting-girlfriend and she can't help but squirm in her seat slightly.
  • Anyone else think he has pretty blue-grey eyes? Or maybe that's just (this otherwise lesbian troper's) thing...
    • You are definitely not the only one who thinks that. Although I could have sworn that his eyes were green.
    • Thirded, especially when it came to some moments in the Fuck-Ups video. Oh, Critic, I know I complained over a few of those things but look at me like that and I'll forgive you anything.
    • Fourthed, especially in this video where he cameos. I don't know if he has naturally dark lashes or what but damn he looks delicious.
    • They are very distracting when in a nice light.
    • The exposure (sorry boys and girls, not like that) in the Old vs. New Karate Kid video made his eyes look even nicer than usual.
    • In his "Airborne" review, they're a genuinely beautiful dark blue.
    • From the Moulin Rouge bloopers, even Lindsay sounded a bit surprised by how blue they were. And he most definitely knows their appeal.
  • You know what's a really silly thing to have a fetish for? Dimples. He has the most adorable little dimple in his right cheek which appears nearly all the time. So as you would expect, I'm usually a happy fangirl.
    • You're not the only one. While this troper is more than happy to see him suffer, she finds him irresistible when he cracks up.
    • Same here. It's not even something I get off to per se, it just warms you up to see him fanboying and genuinely really happy for a change.
  • This is horrifying to admit but from the Tom And Jerry review, when he's upset over another song coming: "Oh, no! Please not another one! I'll do anything! I'll do your taxes, I'll shave your back, I'll PROSTITUTE myself for money! Just, PLEASE NOT ANOTHER ONE!" It- it's the desperation and the accompanying Puppy Dog Eyes that got to me, I'm so sorry.
  • While nobody could say that He-Man was him at his best, he did manage one bit of Ho Yay-tastic Fetish Fuel with this bit of conversation:
    Ivan Drago: "I must break you."Nostalgia Critic: "Trust me, I'd rather have you break me than sit through this ass-fest."
    • And really boys and girls, wouldn't you much rather see a blond, gorgeous, muscle-bound Russian break an adorable geek in glasses than have to suffer through He-Man: Masters Of The Universe?
  • You know what? I love cute guys in glasses and I love cute guys in suits. So let's face it, me developing a Perverse Sexual Lust for the Nostalgia Critic was practically a given.
  • Um, uh... you know the moment in the Ferngully review where the Nostalgia Chick got him pregnant by mocking fairy sex? Yeah, I might like that a little too much for my own good.
  • When the Critic beats up the web technician guy in "Top 11 F*ck Ups". "Lick my shoes!", "Now, clean up your own blood!" Wow, that was... memorable.
    • From the Bratz review: "I am the master, and you the subordinate." *shudders*
      • Oh LORD yes. And the evil laughter into the bargain? Yyyyeah, this troper just about bit her hand off.
  • He looks so darned cute when he's on the verge of tears, doesn't he?
    • He does. And Doug has at least two fan drawings of the Critic crying added to his favorites on Deviant Art. Is there such thing as Meta Fetish Fuel? Because this troper thinks that little detail amps the satisfaction of angst-fetish-fulfillment up by... oh... about 1000%.
    • You must have gone wild over the "Top Eleven Saddest Nostalgia Moments" then.
    • So that's why I felt a bit funny when he was so confused at The Super Mario Brothers Show that he broke down crying?
    • This troper knows all too well that she shouldn't like his complete and utter breakdown during The Star Wars Holiday Special as much as she does...
      • This Nice Guy (honest!) troper is slightly concerned by his reaction to the Nostalgia Critic lying on the ground and acting terrified in the beginning of that review.
      • While this troper has more than appreciation for the Star Wars review, her heart really belongs to the end of the Christmas List. There needs to be more pretty geek-boys almost crying in terror these days. And that sounded creepier than it did in my head.
    • The beginning of his Neverending Story 3 review has what's got to be his longest crying scene yet. He treats his sadist fangirls well.
    • He also cries a bit in the Junior review. And for added hurt/comfort appeal, this is right after he's been throwing up for a long while.
  • More than a few moments in the Mind Fucks countdown certainly qualify for this troper. Aww, look at the cute guy getting scared... (Plus, singing!)
  • His tribute to Siskel and Ebert has revealed a blink-and-you'll miss it clip of a younger self with "freaky" hair, as he describes it.
  • In Spooning with Spoony 2 we get to see him shirtless. And traumatized. Made me want to go and comfort the poor thing.
    • Comfort him? I wanted to get in bed, kick Spoony and Angry Joe out, and spend the rest of the day in bed with him. Fufufu >:3 (excuse the obnoxious emote, it won't happen again)
    • The start of the episode is what did it for me. Spoony talking about him like he was a conquest to be proud of and to be objectified? Yum. The logic that he totally got stretched out by fisting (see, you place your hand up there and then you spread out your fingers...)? Double yum.
    • In Spooning With Spoony 3, he gets to be traumatized yet again. And his look of terror turning into glee when they started the punishment gangbang is delicious in all sorts of ways.
    • And later, his excitement over the Spocker in Star Trek Month is both intriguing and sexy, especially for people with a Rape Is Love kink.
  • You know the moment in the Saved By The Bell review where he asks how many times do you have to break up with someone before they start stalking you? And then he looks really scared and says three? I'm sorry, it's just the thought of him getting himself into that much trouble gives me squiggly feelings.
  • This might sound odd but this troper has a thing for how much of a pathetic loser he is and how he never seems to have any power. Or when he does (Bratz finally produced something good!) he can never hold onto it for very long. I find that very sexy for some reason.
  • That fact that his first breakdown in that review was about the utter stupidity of the language thing in Battlefield Earth made this troper very happy for reasons she can't quite explain.
    • Because intelligence is sexy? I know he's usually The Ditz (and Brainless Beauty in fics - seriously dude, I know Ask That Guy is your fanon twin, but it can't be that hard to not get captured all the time) but his logic - especially the angry version - moments make me glee.
    • "I'm this close to cracking!" Please do?
  • This troper finds that she feels oddly squiggly when he starts dancing. Needless to say, the Warriors of Virtue review is one of her favorites. Squee!
    • It helps that it looks like he's actually rather good at it. Just look at Doug's dancing at the very end of the second Charity Drive, he knows how to move.
  • The perving over Catherine Zeta-Jones and the general fanboying over the Cell Block Tango in his Villain Songs countdown were both ridiculously adorable. (And seeing as how he seems to have a fondness for toppy women, I'm sure a lot of fangirls would be more than happy to oblige him.)
    • The fanboying wasn't even the best part. He said that he'd be happy for the women to kill him as long as they played that song. This troper has such a thing for submissive guys, and subby brats are even better.
  • This troper had to bite down on her hand when he mentioned going gay for Keith David's voice. Yeah.
    • Nobody for his epically cute crush on Will Smith during the "Independance Day" review? D'aww, look at the boy fangirl! <3
      • "NO! BOOBS! YOU LIKE BOOBS!!!"
  • This troper had interesting feelings when he said that The Garbage Pail Kids was physically hurting. Although the clips of the movie itself are guaranteed to squash even the slightest arousal...
  • No love for the very start for the Bio-Dome review? Shame on you all! Oh well, have a present anyway.
    • This troper isn't a Nightmare Fetishist in any sense of the word, but she has to admit that the idea of the Critic with his wrists slashed is rather intriguing.
  • Two words: He sings. Blame it on this troper's love of musical theatre guys, but a guy who can act AND sing is downright hot.
  • While he doesn't do it as often as Linkara does, his rants on Everythings Better With Princesses or Chickification always make this troper glee with delight.
    • Ditto. I love his almost manic, blatant bitterness when he was playing that game on why the princess isn't a queen in the "Captain N" review.
    • While the Vocal Minority of fanboys he has sours it a little (or the ones that call him sexist for actually treating women like people, not goddesses or sex objects), I agree with this a lot. It makes him all the cuddlier.
    • It couldn't have been just me who was swooning over his "badly written women in the 90s" rant in Patch Adams.
      • He got the difference between "sex" and "gender" right. MY BABY LET ME LOVE YOU.
  • In his review of The Care Bears Movie, he is amused by the voice acting of the woman playing The Spirit and comments that it sounds like she's being eaten out while delivering her lines. The Critic then proceeds to demonstrate what he's talking about by delivering The Spirit's dialogue with erotic moans and orgasmic facial expressions. Even this male troper had to admit that was quite hot.
  • There's a promo where the Game Heroes kidnap him and he promotes their Heroes/Villains T-Shirts. At gunpoint. And he's completely out-of-his-mind terrified. Unf.
    • And there's a nice bit of Fridge Logic there as well. If he thought they were out of "Hero" t-shirts and was surprised when he found that he was wearing one of them, then how did they get it on him?
    • I'm not sure how I feel about learning that it was actually his brother doing the "holding him at gunpoint" thing.
    • While the whole thing was delicious fanservice, I had to love that confused, scared expression when the bag came off and Rob shoved the baseball cap on his head. Manhandling is always yummy.
    • Look closely in the first ten seconds or so and you can see him trying to struggle but only just barely managing to move.
    • Oh yes. Scared-into-total-submission Critic is ridiculously hot.
    • The Blatant Lies of "They- they're treating me well" just adds to the appeal. So with that, the fact that he's probably been there for a while and has been unconscious at least once, the manhandling, the terrified submission, the bag, also that it got released at the start of Kickassia as like "This can tide you over until Friday"... makes you wonder if they were having offscreen fun with him.
    • ...can't I just be innocent and say he looked cute in the "Hero" t-shirt? >.<
  • It's only a few second cameo and obviously he's just acting but he appears in the Phelous/Cinema Snob co-review totally stinking drunk, messier than usual, crying about TMNT and Garbage Pail Kids and having to be supported by Rob.
    • This troper is very glad that Critic nearly always has his t-shirt untucked lately. It makes him look so much better and its nice to see that he doesn't actually have a beer-gut like some pictures have showed. Now if only Doug got that messy rocks the neat look any day...
  • In the final Kickassia episode, this troper is slightly ashamed to admit that she expected a whole different kind of fun when he got slammed against the fridge and had Phelous's hands wrapped around his neck for ages.
    • It gets better in the bloopers. The second time they do it, Phelous is either shoving Doug down or Doug is going down on his own. Hands up who's mind went there.
    • The first blooper for the scene mentioned above has Doug saying "You're really going to kill me" to Phelous. I don't know why but I get squiggly ever time I see that. Just something about the way he says it.
    • If you think about it, that kitchen scene could have belonged in a porno. I mean, really; a cute guy slammed against a fridge, has hands around his neck and has been a very bad boy, everyone smirking at him, DAT VOICE Snob saying "you have indeed been hanging around with the wrong crowd" and Phelous telling them all to have fun? You can see where the fanficcers were coming from when they did all those gangbang Kink Meme fills.
  • In his Jaws 3D review, the Critic simulates an entire offscreen sex scene by himself, providing the orgasmic-sounding voices for both the man and the woman. There. Are. No. Words. For. This.
    • One of them (the man, I think) is probably voiced by his brother. I don't know if it makes it worse or better but... yay.
  • Is this troper totally insane for thinking he suited the M. Bison costume unfairly well?
    • Seconded, this troper has a fetish for uniforms, badass capes, and the hat...
    • And that voice!
    • You just know that if Spoony had turned around earlier and seen the Puppy Dog Eyes Of Manipulation, the story would have been over a lot quicker. "Okay, okay! I'll do it if you stop looking like you're about to cry! God, man..."
  • From the Superman 4 crossover with Linkara: "It must be the glasses. Oh, yeah." Hell yeah, Mr Critic. Hell yeah.
  • This troper's not even too sure why but she couldn't help but squee a little when he settled for saying that he had got prettier in the Battlefield Earth review. Well... he's right, at the very least.
  • Did nobody else feel strangely squeeish when in his Date-with-Lindsay-Episode you could see that he was wearing socks of different colour? Awwwww...
  • In amongst the awesomeness that was the tribute, this troper wanted to give him a huge "you're frigging adorable" snuggle.
    • If we're talking about adorableness, special mention should be really go to the Follow That Bird review. A man who can squee higher than a teenage girl is so very cute.
    • Am I the only one who thinks his annual Christmas squee is completely and utterly adorable?
  • While reviewing The Flintstones Movie, he acts out Halle Berry sheepishly trying to save the film by flashing the audience. And the video has a clip of him quitting his job the same way.
  • His Joker impressions during the Full House review is what gets this troper going.
  • Is it so very weird for this troper to have had a strange case of squigglies when Critic did his Punctuated Pounding of the camera thing in the "Ernest Scared Stupid" ep?
  • This troper follows him on Twitter. Last month she opened her email to find a notice that he was following her back. The idea of the Critic following her (in any sense of the word) was enough to make her stupidly giddy and maybe just slightly hormonal.
  • Let's get away from the wank for a second: He makes a ridiculously adorable drunk in his "IT" review.
    • Oh yes. When he had to bang his head on the desk and within seconds, fell off his chair? And that sloshed grin? C'mon, I couldn't be the only one to want to take advantage.
    • From the same review: Gratuitous water-throwing for the win, y/y?
    • I know, I know, Rob's expressions made it hilarious narm, but Critic dead and covered in blood made me feel squiggly for reasons I can't really explain.
    • The cross-kissing. I wanted to hug him and corrupt him at the same time.
  • While some people loved the end for obvious reasons, this troper loved the bits in "My Pet Monster" where he was lying like a teenage girl on his bed and writing in the diary. It was just so adorable!
  • The end of his "My Pet Monster" review. I'm not stupid enough to think he's really quitting, hell no, but he just looked so down that I couldn't have been the only one who wanted to hold him and give him ice cream.
    • The commercial special takes it a step further. A sad, depressed Critic is one thing, but seeing a singing and dancing Critic with a renewed sense of self is a lovely sight to behold.
      • Even better, he's parodying Poor Jack! Uplifting AND incredibly sexy, particularly when he yanks off his outfit to reveal his NC getup.
      • "That's right... I AM THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC!" Broken, insecure Critic is wibble-inducing and in desperate need of a hug, but badass, self-confident Critic is just... guh.
      • Fourthed. I have never been so happy to see that suit. Unkempt Beauty can only go so far, y'know, and I'll take rumpled suits over "I <3 Donuts" any day thankyouverymuch.
      • "AND I, NO-STALGIA CRITIC!" While I knew he wasn't really going to end the series, when he launched into this part, I was actally cheering it was so awesome. It helps that he actually has a pretty nice singing voice when he's not engaging Stylistic Suck.
  • He's a Pale Skinned Brunette. And the good lighting has definitely helped, making him go from ehh◊ to yum◊.
  • For once, ignore the eyeliner.
  • As this page can attest to, there's something about this guy that turns everyone around him into a sadist. Even a long-dead dude has fun hurting him for no real reason.
  • Its horrible and objectifying if I keep noticing that he has a nice mouth, right? Its just so pink and pouty sometimes that I can't help myself. I am deeply shamed.
    • Oh darling, this page has long passed the acceptable line of horrible objectification. Embrace the naughtiness! (And seconded.)
    • It's really his own fault for pouting so much, and coupling it with amazingly wide eyes.
  • In his review of The Room, there is a brief shot of him from his old college movie, and he just looks too cute as a college student.
  • The Leprechaun review. Dear lord the Leprechaun review. The critic imitating the Snob's voice was really cute, and then when he and the Snob both go "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Uggggghhhhh....." was quite hot. 'course, that's cause The Snob's quite a catch himself, since he basically looks like a younger version of Jack Nicholson to this troper.
  • Even though its only on the donation drive, his jumping-around squeeful celebration after he got Christopher Lloyd to say "I was frozen today" was mind-splittingly adorable.
  • I'm going to look like a total nutcase when I say his introduction to every ep is kinda cute, right? It's the head-swooshy thing he always does!
  • Near the end of this Premium Area video. A near suicide that actually looks like it hurt him is hot in so many ways.
    • Seconded HARD. It's so difficult to find material of guys nearly hanging themselves...
  • This troper must confess; during the Christmas Special, when he was backing away in fear from the angel and coughing out "please", she got a little squiggly. And confession number two; even though it was probably Character Derailment for one Rule Of Funny episode, she liked him being an unrepentant jerkhole. At the very least, it stops you from feeling too bad when he's suffering prettily.
  • Also from the Christmas special, during the actual fight: After the angel uses bullet time (or something) to attack him, the resulting moan of pain and collapse sounds...odd.
  • No love for General Zod? This troper would surely KNEEEL before him. Aw yeah.
  • To be honest, I'd rather make him kneel before me. Humiliating dommy men? Hell yes.
  • I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. The Nostalgia Kitten.
  • The Critic is This Tropette's Celebrity Crush. What can I say? I like a sharply dressed man who is cynical, funny, but also has a Woobie factor.
  • At the end of his "Neverending Story 3" review, "I'M FUCKING THE DVD!!! I'M FUCKING THE DVD!!!" Watch here.
    • Not to mention that he was shedding clothes because he was so angry. More rage like that please?
  • I know I shouldn't be noticing this, but he has nice long legs. And as said above, a great arse. If he could walk away from the camera more often (like after the ham-tastic conversation with Spoony in Kickassia), that'd be awesome.
  • Is it tantamount to blasphemy if I say that the "Bat Credit Card" rages actually kinda... get me going? I guess I have a thing for attractive, FICTIONAL men who have bad temper tantrums.
    • According to Doug's Premium Area commentary, the Critic could have been in a straitjacket in that episode. Missed Moment Of Fetish Fuel, anyone?
  • Apparently, the thought of the Critic with a tail at the end of The Room appealed to the Furry Fandom.
  • Wow, um... I'm guessing I'm the only one who just wants to snuggle up and watch a Guilty Pleasure movie with him, right? (Troper now feels like she's doing a Critic!crush completely wrong.)
    • No, you're definitely not. I want to watch Follow That Bird with him, myself.
    • Nah, you're not the only one. He's pretty when he's crying, sure, but he's squishable and huggable and probably fun to fall asleep on.
    • You can do a crush wrong? This is news to me. And I'll add my vote to "I wanna snuggle him and make it better after he watches a shit movie." There's too much hurt and not enough comfort in this page.
  • Going way back to the "Harry Potter" sketch, his furious backpedaling when he insulted the guy in the kilt (and then giving up and running away) was pretty aww-worthy.
  • I really love his laugh. Not just the giggly one although that's cute too, but the loud one when he thinks something is really funny. Tis dorkily delicious.
  • His breakdown in the "Secret of NIMH 2" review. This troper finds his Sarcasm Failure moments pretty hot anyway, but the destroyed, wide-eyed look he had is an added bonus.
    • This Ask That Guy fangirl may have possibly flailed when he said "Now I know what you're thinking..." in exactly the same tone of voice. A subtle Shout Out to the ficcers who write them as brothers maybe? Because Doug usually keeps his characters pretty separate.
  • Okay, okay, I admit it, his struggling and shouting when The Nostalgia Chick was chloroforming him at the end of her Transformers episode was sexy. I am deeply shamed and now going back to lurker-dom.
    • Seconded. What fangirl wouldn't want to be in her place?
    • Is it so very wrong to say that they're rekindling my love for female dominating/bratty guy subbing? It's just she always wins (and he likes toppy women anyway), they are very Pink Boy Blue Girl and you can almost imagine them having unadmitted fight!sex when the camera is off.
      • Word of God and Goddess is that the ship-teasing was intentional, they *have* had sex and they have a history.
  • I love that he's a weepy brat about 60% of the time. As someone else said, it makes you want to get him over your lap and spank him until he cries.
  • This might be slightly strange, but I always enjoy when his head thumps down on the desk out of frustration, crying or suicide. Makes me wanna pet him.
  • Did anyone else's mind go to a really dirty place when he said he would give Sage everything at the end of his "Care Bears 2" review? It can't have been just me, surely.
    • Not just you. Definitely not just you.
    • I might have had a different reason to like that ending; I love ditzy guys and well, yeah, he was pretty bimbo-y there. My kinks are strange.
    • Considering Sage, I think everyones' minds went to really dirty places... Meep...
  • Whenever I'm feeling depressed (which is quite often), he can always cheer me up. He'll always be around with a new character or a new sketch or a funny Critic joke I missed first time round. I love him for that.
    • Aww, that's really sweet. And I second this.
    • Thirding. And I think we all love him for that.
    • Fourthed. Giggling at his videos has probably put years on my life. The fact that he's very nice to look at is just an added bonus.
  • I wanna do naughty things to him using that tie. Is that bad of me?
  • No love for his Shower Of Angst in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles review? I know it was shitty quality and he probably didn't even know he had fangirls lusting after him back then... but still!
  • That sweet little smile as he said "I still have a long way to go" at the end of his Kid In King Arthur's Court. Just gets to me for some reason.
  • The Doctor Who joke in his Dungeons And Dragons review made me squee more than it probably should have.
  • As much as I love seeing him weepy or raging nothing is better than when Critic is genuinely happy and enjoying himself like he is in the Dungeons And Dragons review.
    • Ditto-ing this. I haven't seen him that excited and happy in a long time and it was good to see.
  • He openly says he's a "glutton for punishment" in his Jurassic Park review. Quick girls, think! What small things can he be punished for?
    • And before that (He-Man Christmas Special, I think), he said that he loved torturing himself. He's so good to us. >:D
  • The "blood" on his hands from his breakdown about Doug in the NickToons special. Woobie psychos, don't you just love them?
  • "Because killing things that are smaller than you gives you power! " He then proceeds to cackle manically with thunder and lightning effects ... and then giggle in a cutesy fashion like a little girl. Wow. Completely depraved, and yet so innocent and adorable ... HOW DOES HE DO THAT?!
    • That whole episode was just gloriously manic. And maybe it's blasphemy saying this, but it was a nice change from the 80% depression of the first special.
  • Giving a blowjob to his joystick when he wins the first rematch against Angry Joe. Dayum.
    • Is it just me or does he seem to fellate anything remotly phallic that's in front of him? During the second Charity drive he does it to the lightsaber and now a joystick. Not that I think this is a bad thing.
    • Don't forget he did it to a banana, his Ask That Guy pipe and a lollipop.
  • Unless there was some kind of trickery involved, the lastest Ask That Guy proved he could kiss his own foot. And this dude is six foot tall. Flexibility = unf.
  • Fanboys will kill me but he's just so... moe. Weak, easily submissive, gets hurt all the time, awkward, big eyes, cute as hell- I don't know whether I want to take him home with me to make him cry or hug him a lot.
  • This girl loves it whenever he gets angry about movies portraying bad parenting in a good light (Secret Of NIMH 2 for example). He should be a Papa Wolf more often, it's ridiculously sexy.
  • In the MagFest group review, he appears at the end with a healthy amount of stubble as well as his goatee. I don't even like a lot of facial hair but that was weirdly appealing.
  • In his review of "Baby Geniuses", we get some really nice shots of him lying on a bed, looking all angsty and vulnerable. You just wanna go in there and... hug him. Yes.
  • Call me crazy, but his Grinch impression in The Magic Voyage (the "noise, noise, noise" bit) was disturbingly hot.
    • From the same video the part where he says "The land. Hand it over". I don't know why I find that so hot but I do.
  • The smoking after the fanboy orgasm in the latest review. I normally dislike cigarettes, but seeing him lean back in his chair, blow smoke from his pretty mouth and holding it between those gorgeously long fingers was very very nice.
    • Oh my, yes. And the titular fangasm was rather delicious too. I love it when he squees.
  • I don't know how long it will last so I'm just saying it now: he looks very pretty with his hair grown out more.
  • His evil smirk and leery voice as he says "I'm going to eat breakfast now" in the Gordy review. Oh my. *rewinds and watches again ... and again ... and again* Something about that tone he uses just GETS to me.
  • The adorable joyous dancing at the end of the Gordy review. It's just so nice to see him gleeful and genuinely happy instead of insane with rage for once. Not that the rage isn't fun too, but DAYUM Doug can get down!
  • In the third anniversary teaser trailer, he's dressed as Link. With great legs, no tights and a skirt that rides up to the top of his thigh when he walks. That sound you just heard is a million girls exploding in joy.
    • Apparently he didn't even have to shave for the anniversary. I can't decide whether to love or hate him right now.
    • We've got two upskirt shots, one quick and one baring all, and it's only the third part so far. Now that is wonderful pandering.
  • In the 'Old vs. New: True Grit' review, was I the only one who swooned when he tipped his hat and rode off into the sunset? He can carry me off on his saddle any day....*flutter*
    • Two characters in a row threatened to spank him. Yay.
  • His Link scream at the end of Suburban Knights trailer makes me squeal soooooo much, too much :)
    • I had the same reaction. The fact that he looks kind of badass when he does it was just icing on the cake.
  • Critic playing with his sword in his bedroom (not like that) was oddly delicious.
  • Critic....legs spread....package....oh, why can't he have better looking underwear than tighty-whities on?
    • Doug was adamant on facebook that he doesn't wear briefs usually. And knowing what he's like, you could just imagine him going commando under his Critic jeans. ...that's a pretty image.
  • And would ya look at that, Obscurus Lupa joins the ranks of people who can dominate him ridiculously easy.
  • His smile at the very end of Suburban Knights when he was talking to Linkara, wow that was sexy.
  • He makes such an adorkable Link!
  • In the Bum/Critic review of Transformers 3, it looks suspiciously like he has a hickey and scratch marks on his neck. It's been said before, Robin is a lucky woman.
  • Disregarding the times of sunburn, he has beautiful skin. And no I don't mean that in an "I want to steal it" kinda way.
  • In his theme songs countdown, he purrs. Goddamnit.
  • He SQUEES in the Alaska review. Oh my God.
  • While I would never find it hot in real life, I always get feelings when he mentions how bad his in-character parents were. Maybe it's the woobie "I'll treat you right baby" factor.
  • He's deliciously easy to control and manipulate, as we've seen from Sage, Malachite, Dr. Smith, the Game Heroes and a demonic teddy bear.
  • Check out this PBS commercial from 2008, shortly before TGWTG was founded. Doug making all kinds of faces while doing celebrity impersonations (including one of Stephen Colbert). And he's clean shaven.
  • Whenever he's faced with a nostalgic crush, he makes an unbelievably erotic whimpery sound.
  • The start of his James And The Giant Peach review: out of jail, jacket and tie missing, much meeker than usual... I surely couldn't be the only one whose mind went to "he was totally a prison bitch".
    • "Because... I really want you to like me right now." I could think of plenty of ways to show my "like".
    • He was held at gunpoint! Lots of times!
  • He's losing the sunburn and is getting back to his usual perfectly pale self. YES.
  • He's got beautifully dark, naturally thick eyelashes and I want to kiss each and every one of them.
  • In the Chick's review of "Kate And Leopold", he's jacking off a stick of butter. Would it be inappropriate if I said I've got something much better that he could fondle?
  • "Blair Witch 2: The Book Of Shadows". Four words that will make any fangirl squeal: the eyeliner is back.
    • Even better? It's completely slathered on. It shouldn't look good but it does.
    • Not to mention he was wearing black lipstick. I was just staring at it both times.
  • "Everyone's A Whore On Halloween" is blatant Audio Erotica.
    • And it's him extolling the virtues of sluttiness. What more can you ask for?
    • How he still managed to look fucking sexy in that silly suit and daft wig is beyond me.
  • Even the title cards get in on the fun with the "Moulin Rouge" review, with a sultry-looking, genderbent Critic dressed like a hooker and still with his tie, hat and jacket. Comparisons to the hooker!verse (the only difference being that he's in fishnets, not thigh high boots) have been delightedly made.
  • So there's rope in your house and you're "not an escape artist" huh, Critic?
    • Ask That Guy does live with him...
    • The way he was comforting the ghost somehow hit my "nice daddy" kink.
  • Nobody's seemed to mention it, but he's really frigging funny. Why wouldn't you crush on a guy that can make you laugh?
  • There are some disgustingly pretty smiles on display during The Grinch review.
  • Anyone else have a thing for when his voice goes high-pitched? No? Just me then? 'Kay.
  • His Scottish accent in the StarTrek review is weirdly appealing.
  • Maybe it was the tighter jeans showing off his legs, maybe it was the fact that he spent most of review on a bed, maybe it was the HoYay with Linkara and That Sci-Fi Guy, but he looked really sexy in Star Trek Insurrection.
  • He looks even skinnier than usual in "Old vs. New: Red Dragon". Your Mileage May Vary whether it's a worry because he was already pretty slim, or hot because he looks smaller and therefore more vulnerable.
  • His gag reflex failing him and making him throw up in Star Trek V made me wonder how far he can take it before the same thing happens in the bedroom.
  • Getting so angry with PatchAdams that he puts the movie over his knee and whips it with his belt. Dommy!Critic isn't around much, and for good reason too, but damn.
  • The beginning of "Ask That Guy VIOLATES Ma-Ti". He looks even more delectable in black and white.
  • It's so cute how he stammers when he gets nervous.
  • Something about the way he says "daddy"... it pleases me.
  • It really shouldn't be appealing, but his orgasm face when he's pissing on the old theme in Doug's First Movie.
  • He goes for manicures and eyebrow waxing with Todd In The Shadows. That boy will kill me one of these days...
  • Speaking of crossovers, a lot of them (especially the ones with Phelous) involve some very cute crazy moments; not psychotic or angry or depressing, just very ditzy and odd. It's fucking adorable.
  • In "Thomas And The Magic Railroad" (the "bottom bitch" bit specifically), there's an allusion to orgasm denial. Do tell me more, Mr. Critic...
  • Maybe not fetish material per se, but the fact there's been some Critic videos where Doug forgot to take off his wedding ring before filming (the beginning of The Wiz, Scooby Doo, Linkara's Christmas vid) this troper finds adorable beyond belief and brings out all the "let me hug youuuuuuu" feelings :3
  • His exaggerated Phil Hartman impression in Jingle All The Way (at about 6:44). That...sleazy liplicking...I'llbeinmybunk.
  • Whenever Critic tilts his head down (not out of anger or frustration) and we get a nice shot of his big, blue eyes. He looks moe as Hell.
  • Yes it was triggering for hallucinations or abusive partner memories, but Critic in "The Review Must Go On" took over Ask That Guy for pure evil is sexy.
  • Rachel Teitz as Catwoman.  Rrowrr.
  • His slightly longer hair in the Critic Reloaded reviews really suits him. Good thing too, as said reviews were offensive bullshit and made it obvious Doug wasn't even trying with the character back then either.
  • Critic getting tortured in The Wicker Man. Even before that, Malcolm hits him in the face with a baseball bat with Tamara propping him up, and he just looks so pretty dazed and hurt. The fact that he runs after Tamara and basically asks her to stay hurting him just makes it better.
  • Tamara as Sexy Dorothy.
  • That shirt Tamara wears in the Swan Princess review, especially all the, uh, close-ups.  Just wanna bury my face in there.
  • And now, her Trinity outfit in the Matrix reviews.
  • Critic whipping his crotch and whimpering in pain during the Legend Of Zorro review is a nice return to his dumbass masochist days.
  • In Pixels, Critic saying that being ball-gagged was surprisingly comfortable. Whether he really did do it to himself for "research", or it happened in one of the many times he's been kidnapped, very hot.
  • In Fury Road, Critic with that metal thing on his face and his hands chained behind his back.
  • Devil Boner! Tight jeans, leather jacket, fuckton of eyeliner and a demented bad boy while also being a feminist ally and a really good boyfriend. Even Beth and Tamara think he's amazing.
  • Tamara's tweets about wanting to put Doug on a leash and walk him like a dog.
  • In Battle of the Commercials, Tamara's all dressed up as Batgirl and she's tied up with two ropes around her, uh, upper torso.
  • This picture of Critic chained to his review chair, pink handcuffs around his wrists and looking delighted.

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